That Ship Has Sailed

Steve & Tony

Steve hadn't been staying with Tony for long, but after what he went through, Tony refused to leave him alone. The Avengers had dissolved when SHIELD became fully operational again and the group went their separate ways. Steve wasn't one to show when he was breaking, but his last mission had pushed him over the edge.

So, he spent his days laying in his bed or sometimes the floor of the room Tony had given him. Friday kept Tony updated on Steve's health and with each passing day, Tony grew more worried.

"Rogers, buddy you've gotta eat.

Silence followed. It had been weeks and all Steve did was lie there.

"Banner called today. Seems he's figured out some new technology and wanted me to help him.

At the suggestion that he was going to leave, Tony expected some response, but Steve remained placid.

"Anyway, I'I'll just leave this food here and bring some fresh stuff when this starts attracting flies."

His nonchalant manner never lasted long and he was finding it harder and harder to hide how worried he truly was for Steve. He would close the door behind him and lean against it, taking slow breaths and wracking his genius brain for a solution. Yet, with all of his thinking and careful calculating, his genius brain could never think of one.

His worry escalated one night when he came home from a day full of meetings, still wearing an expensive suit and counting the seconds until he could change out of it.

He entered and the first thing he did was check on Steve. When he noticed he wasn't in his room, the kitchen was his next destination. After that, the bathroom. Still no Steve.

"Friday? Where is Steve?"

"In the pool, sir."

"The pool--" Tony looked toward the pool through his window and quickly noticed the motionless lump floating in the water.

"Friday, I thought I told you to seal the doors and windows?!" Tony shouted as he ran toward the back door.

"He broke the door, sir," Friday replied.

Tony didn't hesitate before diving into the pool and grabbing Steve, though he still wore his suit. He struggled to draw him to the surface and get him onto the surrounding ground and when he did, he found that Steve wasn't breathing.

"Don't die on me, Rogers," he said as he began CPR.

"Come on!" He shouted as he pressed against Steve's chest, pausing to breathe as much air as he could into his friend's lungs before going back to attempting to re-start Steve's Heart.

"Come on, Steve! Don't die on me!" Tears clouded his vision as he pushed rhythmically against Steve's chest.

Finally, a cough came from the body and water spurted out of his mouth. Tony sat back for a moment, panting and covering his mouth before leaning forward and picking Steve up into his arms.

"Thank God," he said, "I thought I'd lost you."

"Why couldn't you let me die?" Steve choked in between coughs.

It was the first thing Tony had heard him say in weeks and it was the opposite of what he wanted to hear.

"You have too much to offer, Steve, I couldn't let the world lose one of the best."

Steve didn't say anything in response. Tony pulled away from him and shouted through tears, "You damn son of a bitch, don't you go quiet on me again! See where it got you? I know you loved him and he's gone now, but dying won't solve anything."

"He was the only one who knew what I felt, Tony. He knew what I was thinking and shared my same morals. How can I ever find someone like him again?"

"Not by dying!" Tony said loudly. He then quieted his voice and moved to lean against a pillar. Steve lay back on the ground and silence took over for a while.

"Last year, when we fought those Aliens that Loki let through, remember when I went up there?"

"Yeah. You were the only one that could."

I thought I was going to be stuck, forever floating through space. I thought--" he stopped, taking a shaky breath, "I thought I was never going to see any of you again. Since my parents died, I'd had no family. Then I found Pepper, but she left me...Now, you're all I have. If I lose any of you--"

Steve paused, then reached his hand over. Tony met him half way and clasped his hand.

"I never realized," Steve admitted. "I was too caught up with Bucky, after I thought I'd lost him forever--"

"Yeah," Tony said quietly, "I know how you feel."

"I won't try it again," Steve whispered, dropping his head back against the ground.

"Swear to me."

"I swear," Steve replied, taking deep, audible breaths in the quiet night. Tony sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand, hating feeling vulnerable. Though both men had just shared intimate details of their life, neither felt uncomfortable in the lingering silence. The breeze blew and the water rippled as both remained motionless, breathing deeply and enjoying the solitude.