That Ship Has Sailed

Dean & Lisa

Flies buzz against the light outside, emitting a loud 'zap' every few minutes. The wind gently blows in the windows, gently swaying the curtains from side to side. Crickets chirp in the long grass under the open windows, but inside, Dean lies asleep on the couch.

Lisa finishes cleaning in the kitchen and leans against the counter, pushing her hair off her forehead and rubbing her tired eyes. Then, she takes a moment to breathe. The night is calm and quiet.

When she exits the kitchen in search of dean, she softly calls his name. Eventually, she finds him on the couch and stops, looking across the room at him. She gently falls against the doorpost and rests her head against it, watching as his chest rises and falls rhythmically, the small body atop his chest moving up and down with it. She looks down, an embarrassing smile on her face, and notices the framed photograph on the table.

She picks it up, the smile still there, as she sees the family photo. Herself, and Dean, smiling broadly. Ben, standing in the middle, holding the small, blue bundle that was their baby.

Then, she sees the photo that sits behind it on the table and her smile falters. She sets the frame back down and leaves the room, going back to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine.

After drinking it, she slowly makes her way to the living room again and sees Dean, still sleeping on the couch. She hates to do it, but she walks over and gently touches his shoulder, "Dean," she whispers, "I'm going up to bed."

Dean stirs and Lisa pauses. Gently, she lifts the baby boy off of Dean's chest and this wakes him. He opens his eyes and, in reflex, holds on tighter to the boy. When he sees Lisa, he lies back down, letting go of his grasp so she can take him.

"I'm going up to bed," she repeats, "You should come, too."

Dean nods and rubs his eyes, a yawn escaping his lips.

Lisa carries the baby boy to his crib and lies him down. His chest moves up and down with comfort as he lies, still asleep, un-woken from the transition. She stares for a few moments at her child before Dean comes up behind her and rubs her arms gently, kissing her shoulder, "Come on to bed, Lis," he whispers, "Sammy is fine, you didn't wake him."

Lisa turns her head toward Dean and closes her eyes. She nods and follows him from the room, entering their own seconds later. Dean yawns and sits on the bed, pulling his white t-shirt over his head before lying down. Lisa hesitates for a moment, standing in the doorway.

"Hey," Dean calls softly through the room, "What's wrong?"

Lisa shakes her head.

"No, really," Dean says, standing and walking toward her, "Tell me what's wrong."

"Sammy," Lisa whispers after Dean hugs her.

"What's wrong with Sammy? Is he getting sick?"

"No."

"Well, what, then?"

"I just saw the photo again tonight and it always throws me off when I notice it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up again, I just--I know how hard that was for you and I hate that it happened and--"

"Hey," Dean said firmly, pulling away so he could look at Lisa, "It's okay. I'm fine."

Lisa shook her head, "No you're not. You try to be. You pretend to be, but I know you still miss him. You always will and I can't help with that kind of pain. I don't know how to make you happy or how to help you."

Dean sighed and rubbed his hair, "Look, I'll always miss him, Lis. He was my brother...but he's gone now and I know I honored him by naming my first born after him--hell, if he even knew I had a first born right now, he'd tease me relentlessly. But I know that he'd be happy. Happy that I found you. Found Ben. Made a life for myself. Outside of hunting."

"Do you resent me or miss it?"

Dean shook his head immediately, "No. That job took enough family from me. I'm staying as far away from it as possible from now on. I don't want it to take any more family away from me. I won't let it. Do you believe me?"

Lisa nodded, wiping a tear that had dripped down her cheek. Dean kissed her forehead, paused, then kissed her lips, "I love you, Lisa," he said firmly.

Lisa nodded, "I love you too, Dean," she replied, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

"I won't ever leave you or Ben or Sammy. Do you understand?"

Lisa nodded again. Their hug was interrupted by Sammy beginning to whimper. Lisa turned to go to him, but Dean stopped her, "I'll get him. You get some sleep."

Lisa nodded and watched as Dean walked into Sammy's room and picked him up from his crib. He kissed the little boy's face, then held him close, mumbling inaudibly as he bounced him gently, back and forth. Lisa smiled as she watched her husband and child in the other room, knowing that Dean was right. This was his life now and he'd never let anything jeopardize that.