I like Isak, and Nora

"There are no fags there"

Paul

Well, since I really needed to do that rehab I went to the police station to the fucking Detox program, I remember entering and finding a room full of people crying and completely broken. "Wow, there is people who have it way worst than me" I thought to myself. I then sat on the nearest chair and waited. A cop appeared and explained how bad drugs were and then he showed us a power point presentation on different drugs and their effects "Jesus, if this is what is supposed to avoid people on taking drugs surely we are fucked" I thought to myself. Anyway I finished the course, got a diploma (easiest diploma of my life to be honest) and then I spoke with coach. I was admitted onto the team again and decided to talk with Isak, it was Tuesday so I decided to go home and take a hot shower.

After the shower I had a message on my phone from Clara; "Hey, I have a problem, mind if we do skype?" After seing the message I stormed to my room and turned the laptop on, I didn't even have my T-shirt on when I answered to Clara's call:

 - Hey Paul... whoa!!, put a T-shirt on for christ sake -She said as I looked at her eyes from the PC completeley shirtless.

 - Ok, first, I am at my home so if I want to be shirtless I am shirtless -I said as I looked for a damn T-Shirt on my closet- second when I recieved your message I rushed to the PC, third, what is wrong?

 - Put your headset on, I don't want your entire house to hear our conversation.

 - My mom is working and my dad is buying groceries. There is no one at home except for my dog, you want to see him? -I answered

 - No, I don't want to see your stupid dog. -She then said

 - Oh fuck this is serious

 - Look, remember about Mike? -She started

 - Yep

 - Well, this is weird... look, since I left Aynor I haven't felt completely OK, I hooked up with Mike but I didn't like him, I feel that... I don't know why I hooked up with him. He just wasn't my thing.

 - Look, it is normal. Break with him before it gets too complicated. -I then told her

 - It already is complicated, look Paul, I feel as if I am not interested on anyone.

 - Hey, I am not interested on all the girls on my class. Look, whatever it is break with him as soon as possible if you are not ok at the moment, avoid having problems with that ok? Now wanna play some Hearts of Iron? -I told her

 - I pick the US -She midly shouted

And so we played for 4 hours to hearts of Iron IV, she picked up the US, I picked Mexico, it was fun invading half of the world to be destroyed by russia. Isak joined us in the middle of the game and joined as Canada. Eventually even Nora started playing, as Brasil. But the "Jocks" of the group (as Clara would say) we had training on Wednesday so we went to bed. It was one funny afternoon.

The following day was completely normal, we gave to Mr. Gómez the second part of our "diaries" and got even more bored of possible to english literature. We ate all together and had a really boring afternoon of math. At 4 PM classes ended so I went to have a coffee with Isak. We then went to the gym where coach was waiting. He then approached us and told us that we had to shower before and after the training so I went to the showers with Isak and...

Let me explain you how the place is, we are talking about an alley with showers at both sides and not a single place to hide yourself. I have always been a really shy boy and I was never happy with my body so I freaked out. Isak looked at me, then looked at all the naked boys showering and turned around looking for the coach:

 - Hey coach, you see... I am a really shy person so... -Isak started

 - Look Isak, you have to shower before and after training, I don't give a shit about you being shy, get it? -Mr. Happiness said

 - Coach, is there any place where we can shower where there is no one? -I asked him

 - Look son, there are no fags there, no one cares about your body, everyone is there doing their business. Now get to the fucking shower. -He answered

I then looked at Isak, held his hand and then took him to the showers where I picked one on the corner right by him, "look, I really don't want jocks to see me naked but if I'm with you it's easier, we are in this shit together ok?" I told him, then he hugged me. Two naked teenager hugging while other teenager where showering in a school. It was one awkward moment.

Confession time, I have never been happy showing any part of my body, I usually wear long troussers because I really don't like my body. I don't go to the beach with my friends because of the same reason. This chapter is dedicated to everyone suffering from this exact same situation and I have to tell you all that I wrote this chapter wearing short pants.

Fact is, at my school we had to get changed to the P.E. clothes before class so I really struggled. The funny part was that my teacher hated me hating to get changed in front of... well, other boys so I just tried to hide me and... It only increased the curiosity of other kids. It jsut got everything worse. If you are a teacher and you can do something to avoid this kind of situations, do it. I am moving to university in 3 months, you wont change my life but you can save an insecure kid who is not comfortable on showing himself to other kids.

You have to be a really great friend of mine to having seen me shirtless or with short pants so if you have, thanks for not attacking me for that at that moment.    : )