Alienated [✔] » k.th

4.

Joey

After work I hurried back to my apartment to change and clean up. V watched as I did.

"What's the occasion?" He asked.

"My boyfriend is coming over" I straightened the pillows on the sofa.

"What's he like?"

"He's interesting. He's ambitious and good looking... And he speaks spanish."

His eyes lit up. "I speak Spanish as well!"

"Oh really" I placed a hand on my hip.

"Si," he said. "Estoy hablando espanol ahora."

"What?"

"¿No hablas espanol?"

"... OK, just shut up."

There was a knock on the door. "OK, V... Don't do anything weird. Just stay out of our way and you can go watch TV in my room... Here!" I threw him my TV remote. "And don't use your powers."

I opened the door and there stood Ricardo.

"Hey!" I greeted him with a hug.

"Hey mama" he said in his Spanish accent. "I have something for you."

I opened the bag he handed to me. I pulled out a bottle of apple sparkling water.

"Thank you Ricardo" I beamed.

He invited himself inside.

"Who's this weirdo?" He asked staring at V.

"Oh, Ricardo... This is V... My... Roommate?"

"¡Hola, soy V!" He held his hand out for a handshake.

"Hey, what's happenin cuz?" Ricardo gave him a fist bump instead.

V stared at his hand like he didn't know what it was. "Joey" Ricardo pulled me to the side and said, "I don't like that you're rooming with another guy. I don't feel right about that, mama."

"It's OK. We're just friends. It's only temporary" I explained.

"For how long exactly?"

Our vision shifted to V in the corner of the room sniffing his hand.

"I don't know... Until he finds somewhere else to stay, I guess."

"Why's he so... Weird?"

"Um... He's from... Bermuda, yeah"
I nodded, content with my lie.

"It's only for a little while right?"

"Yeah babe."

"OK" he sighed.

"Well, let's eat dinner" I said. I walked over to V and pulled him aside. "You can go upstairs now."

"But I want to eat diner with you guys."

"You mean dinner and fine. As long as you don't do anything weird."

"Yay!" He clapped, still holding my remote in his hands.

__________

"What's this?" He pointed down at his plate.

"It's spaghetti"

"Oh, I've had spaghetti before! But there was no red sauce. I picked it up out of the ground and it was moving. These must be dead" he gestured to his plate. "I picked it out of the dirt and ate it. It was really slimy and squirmed around in my mouth."

"That was a worm V" I replied. "And ew."

"Oh" his shoulders slumped. I placed a container of grated Parmesan cheese on the table and he asked, "What is that?"

"It's Parmesan cheese."

"Oh, oh, oh!" He waved his hand excited. "I had Parmesan cheese before! It was cold outside and there was white stuff floating in the air then it landed on the ground. Some of the white cold stuff was yellow and I ate it." he made a face. "It tasted really weird. You shouldn't eat it."

I put my face in my hands and sighed.
"V, that was snow and someone urinated in it. That's why it was yellow."

His eyes became wide with shock and his mouth gaped open.

"This..." I held up the Parmesan. "This is Parmesan. It's not cold and does not come out of the sky."

"Don't you guys eat this kind of stuff in Bermuda?" Ricardo asked.

"Bermuda? I've never been."

"Ahem!" I turned to V.

"Is there something in your throat? Do you need medical attention?" He asked.

I face palmed myself and said, "Be quiet for the rest of the time."

We ate silently and afterwards, Ricardo and I wanted to be alone. So I told V to go up to my room and watch television.

"I missed you" I said as I laid my head on Ricardo's shoulder.

"I missed you too" he stroked my hair.
"How was it in Cuba?"

"It was nice. Very different from America."

"I can't believe you've been gone all this time! I wish I could have gone to Cuba with you"

"Cuba?!" V popped up from behind the couch and the mood was immediately killed. "I've been to Cuba before. It's great!"

He sat in between us. "Cubans really know how to celebrate. They also have outstanding health care systems."

"I thought you were upstairs" I said.

"Nope, I was here the whole time listening to you two talk."

"Good thing we didn't do anything else" I mumbled.

"I have to go" Ricardo got up and grabbed his jacket.

"No, you just got here." I followed him to the door. "Please stay."

"Mama, you have to get rid of that guy." He looked over at V.

"But, he's from Bermuda. They like company."

"Well, tell him to go back. He's weird and an annoying third wheel."

"But-"

"Bye, I'll see you some other time." He kissed me and left. I closed the door.

"See what you did!" I yelled.

"What did I do?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You ran my boyfriend away!"

"It's not my fault!"

"Yes it is!"

"Stop talking so loudly, I have sensitive ears!"

"Aaahhh!" I yelled in his ear. He covered them with his hands.

"Your boyfriend is mentally dysfunctional!"

"Shut up before I yell in your ear again!"

He stuck his tongue out at me and I slapped him off the sofa with one of the pillows.

He fell onto the ground whining.

"Ow! How could something so soft hurt so much? Ow!" He just laid there still whining.

I just rolled my eyes and went to bed.