forget.

42.

the evolution of us.

October, 2016.
we hung out in a big group.
we went and snuck
into the movies.
i instantly fell
in love with
your eyes.
they were so...blue.
but i continued on.
i mean,
you were
just a new
guy who i was
introduced to
that night.
later you asked for
my number.
i gave it to you.
but not before blushing
and stuttering,
"s..s..sure."

November, 2016.
we hung out
in a smaller group.
we just
walked around
town.
we stopped
at a park.
we played
games
and ended the night
just sitting on
the swings.
everyone got
bored and left,
but you
stayed with
me just to sit
and stare at
the stars.
you walked me
home.
but not before
giving me
your jacket
cause i was cold.

December, 2016.
you texted me with
a simple
"hey.."
and i thought
someone sent you
or you
needed
something.
you told me,
"i just wanted to talk to a pretty girl :)"
i threw my phone at
my wall
and cursed when
i heard it
crack.
to this day
i don't
know why
i did that.
you were
just
another boy
who called
me
pretty..

January, 2017.
we were talking
on a daily
basis.
you kept calling
me cute and
adorable
and said
i was different.
i didn't
know how to
respond
so i just said
"shut up"
with a chuckle.
every time
my phone lit
up with your
name,
i thought
of your
blue eyes
and i smiled to
myself.

February, 2017.
i was on vacation,
but that didn't stop you
from face timing me
and asking,
"uh..well..willyoubemygirlfriend?"
and i laughed
at you for
rushing it all out
and how nervous
you looked.
you blushed
and looked at me,
waiting.
i didn't waste any time
and said
"i'd love to"
with a chuckle.
we talked
all night.
and you kept,
slipping the word
"girlfriend"
into your sentences
any chance you
got.

March, 2017.
our friends
had many
different reactions,
"are you serious?"
"you're joking.."
"omg!! congrats"
"aw. you guys are so cute!!"
some were happy,
some were flat
out surprised.
and
others seemed..angry?
but i didn't care.
i liked you,
more than
i realized
at the time.
my birthday came,
you gave me a necklace,
that i still wear
and the cutest teddy bear,
that i still sleep with.

April, 2017.
everything
was fine.
we hung out a lot,
i introduced you
to some of my friends.
i could tell
there was some
tension in between
you guys.
i decided to
ignore it
and continue on
with our movie trip.
we saw a horror movie,
as usual :)
and i couldn't
help but laugh
when you kept
covering your face
at the scary parts.
you walked me
home
after i convinced
my friends
that i'd be fine.

May, 2017.
we weren't talking
as often.
you took hours to answer
my texts.
and constantly
missed my calls.
my friends
said you
weren't good enough.
and i needed someone
new.
they didn't like
that you drank
or smoked
but they do that too!
"they're just hypocrites
and assholes"
i told myself.
i didn't care
about your habits.
i see that
everyday of my
goddamn life.
it didn't
make me
like you any less.

June, 2017.
you went to camp.
it didn't bother me.
"at least we still talk.."
but then,
as if the world
hated me,
you stopped responding entirely.
i haven't heard from
you in days.
and when i texted you
saying
"i really like you.
but i'm not happy.
i'm sorry, but we're done."
that's when you responded
asking what you did
and i laughed at my screen
and deleted your number.