Oh, Calamity (Alex Gaskarth/ ATL fan-fic)

Walls

To my friends: this chapter is a little different from how I explained it at school today, how I was going to write it, but you'll like it a lot more. I think it's one of my most beautiful chapters yet.

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Marina's POV:

I sat on the porch with my guitar, watching the rain fall. The air was warm on this sweet, April day. A small piece of me was lonely, but Barbara (my new acoustic fender) was keeping me company. I admired her natural, oak stain, and darkened neck. My fingers plucked the thin steel strings, one by one. Alex was out at a doctors appointment, which left me his entire house to myself. I smiled and peered out at the dark clouds. Thunder continued, while the scent of regrowth lingered. No cars passed, only lightening. Yet, it wasn't a scary rain. It was swaddling. I felt safe in the storm's keep.

I played an A minor, then an E. Something randomly popped into my head. "If you don't come, you'll never go. And if you don't change, you'll never grow. If you don't try, you'll never learn. And if you don't fall, you'll never hear the Earth.

"Smile. Stay.
How does one go away?
Don't dream, just be." I let the last note trickle like the droplets o water from the sky.

"You're never gonna be forgotten,
So what's the point in leaving?
Things aren't so bad.
You're gonna wanna come back once your,
Gone." I went up on that note. "Gone."

I sang out to the crowds that had nearly left my head. It had seemed so long since we played a show, and so much had happened since then that I almost forgotten what it felt like. Those screams that used to take over me. The ones who I felt holding my hand as I belted the hardest parts of my songs. The songs written from the very depths of my heart, that beat as part of me. 

The ones I had to cry to sing, and how every fan cried along, their voices hugging me so tightly, giving me the strength to continue. This life I had once celebrated as my perpose seemed so distant.

Of course, every break felt like this. It most certainly wasn't anything new. I set down Barbara and stood up, leaving this big comfy chair to go sit in the ratten, rocking one. A blanket spread across my lap. A bird chirped somewhere in the distance, with a response from the one in the tiny birdhouse I had hung on a tree, and set beside a feeder Alex had prior to me residing here. I grabbed the small basket beside me, taking out the small crochet hook and single-stitch purple scarf I had inside. I made Alex a hat within the last month, and he wanted a scarf to go along. So I started making him one. They were both Ravens themed.

Single stitch was the most time consuming of the stitches I knew, but I thought it looked the most put together, and went well with the hats I made. I took a sip of the rasberry tea I had, which had only sugar and no cream. I thought about putting a tad bit of wine in, as I normally did, but I decided not to. For moments, I became completely enveloped in this rain and scarf-making that I hardly noticed when Alex pulled in the driveway.

"Hey baby." I called to him.

"I went to Panera Bread and got you a bagel and some soup. I hope that's fine for lunch." He walked onto the porch, carrying more than just one bag. This puzzled me, but not too much.

"Of course. Thank you!" I stood, setting down my yarn and kissing him.

He kissed right back. "Damn, I love it when you wear knit sweaters.You're getting back to your color. I like it."

I sat in my rocking chair again, and sat in the comfier chair beside it, setting the bags on the table between us. "So how was the doctor's?" I asked, getting back to my crocheting.

"Well, he said I gained six pounds since last time, but it's not anything to worry about. And everything else is fine. My anxiety is a lot better, thanks to you." He sat back.