TOY SOLDIERS

Back To Me

Dru

"It was to get back at him wasn't it"? He asked calmly as he sat up fully and stared deep in my eyes.
I shrugged and looked away, I didn't wanna answer his question because the truth of the matter I was confused. "Where are your feelings at Dru"?
I inhaled "I don't know... I really don't have feelings".
He looked disappointed as he looked away from me. Instantly I started to feel bad for putting in him in this situation. I stood up and started fixing my clothes as he sat there doing the same.
Once my clothes were back on my body He turned and faced me "Dru I don't know how I can explain it to you but I really have feelings for you from the first day I met you I knew I wanted you and I know you could tell that too, he doesn't deserve you at all" Zy said.
"It's not you at all and I really like you too but this isn't for me... It's not for us. I can't put you in the middle of what's going on in my life" I said speaking truth.
"Dru I'm already apart of it. I'm not going no where unless it's with you I got attached to you and I don't wanna let that feeling go especially after what just happened between us. Let me show you what you deserve".
I thought long and hard... "I can't Zy... And don't get me wrong I wanted you too from the day I met you I instantly felt a connection. When I'm around you I feel peaceful to the point I almost forget everything that's troubling me and that's a feeling not even Snake gave me" I said walking away.
"Then why cant you be with me"? Zy asked causing me to stop and face him with a sad face.
"Because the last person I gave my whole heart to died... I lost him so for that I can't let no one get that close to me no more" I said sadly.
Zy walked over to me with desperate eyes... "Look Dru in two days I gotta make a trip for a few days to see my mom but after that when I come back I want you all to myself" Zy said kissing my lips again.

I left his house with my feelings all over the place. I wanted Zy to bad, but it just wouldn't be right. As bad as I wanted to say I didn't want him to leave I knew I couldn't.... I just prayed in my head that he would come back to the crew.... Back To Me....

***********************************************************************************************************************

       I had just pulled up to my mother's residence and instantly felt that home feeling. I missed being here with my mother, but when i was introduced to a better life I took that first flight out. Wise took me under his wing and taught me everything I needed to know about survivial. Life was good, but there was a catch to it. Wise had me handle all his work, collecting his debt and taking out his enemies. He told me everything about his business, but when I got whit that he was keeping secrets i started doing my research. Once Wise set me up and got me locked up it dawn on me that he hit Leon behind my back and it was all because he knew that Leon was close with my family. He couldn't risk losing me because of what he did to Leon so he called his self teaching me a lesson. For all he knew I was clueless and still behind bars waiting to be sentenced. I knew I should have told Dru more of what I knew but I had to be for sure first. I had reason to believe Wise had parts with Leon's death, but we had to touch all the niggas he had involved first before we took him out.
Soon as i walked up on my mother's front porch the door swung opened and my nine year old sister appeared with a cheesy smile. She had grew up since the last time I saw her. I kneel down and kissed her little red cheeks while pulling her little body in my arms.

" Asia i missed you".
She giggled "I missed you too big head where you been"? "Working... where's mama"? I asked as i stood to my feet and walked in the house behind her. " She's in her room" she said before running off. I walked up the steps and down the hall to my mom's room. I pushed the door open to see her laid in bed watching TV, soon as she saw me she popped up and hugged me. " Wassup ma".
"Hey baby... when you get here"? she asked sitting all the way up in the bed.
"I got off the plane and caught a cab here" i said taking a seat at the edge of her bed, close to her.
"How you holding up baby you look stressed"? she asked as she touched the side of my face. The last time my mama seen me was right before i got arrested for Wise and I know she was wondering how I was home this quick.
"I'm good ma i promise... and nah i ain't no snitch" I told her as if i could read her mind. Her lips twisted up into a smile " Come on boy I know better than that...you weren't raised like that".
"I'm out and even though I'm a fugitive I plan on staying out. I'm not fucking with Wise nomore either, he's the one who got me in this position". She frowned her face up " I told you I never liked that man, but baby I know all you wanted to do was getaway from your dad so I don't blame you for what you got into" she said.
I sat there thinking about how much of a mess up man my pop's was. He was the reason why i turned to the streets so heavy, he used to beat me and my mother bad to the point I started fighting his ass back. That didn't help though, he beat us worser to point i missed half of school for a year. When he almost killed my mother and put her in the hospital I met Wise and he taught me well. I was doing big things, making money and making a reputation for myself and making sure home was better, But again that didn't keep him away. He got out of jail and showed up at our house one day causing problems. I came in just in time and smoked his ass, leaving his dead body on my mother's living room floor. I called Wise to call the clean up crew then got ghost, but that didn't stop me from visiting my mother from time to time and being there when my precious little sister was born.

"Baby" my mother said knocking me out my daze when she touched the side of my face. I glanced over at her "Smile baby it's all over" she told me, I guess now reading my mind.
I dug in my pocket and pulled out an evelope filled with money and passed it to her, she opened it and smiled. "Zy'mar you don't have to do this".
"But i do... take care of you and Asia in case something happens to me". I saw the tears build up in her eyes, but she never fussed at me. If anything she let me be a man and learn on my own even though she remain there every step of the way.
She leaned over and hugged me tightly "Zy'mar I love you baby... and i want you to take care of yourself. Baby i want you to be safe because this world could be so cold to a good soul like you and the last thing i wanna do is lose my son so you better watch your back" she whispered as she pulled back and we locked eyes.
I nodded my head and wiped her tears away "I'mma always be good ma i promise".

I had to take care of my family as long as i was here because if i didn't then who would. My mother and Asia were my life and if something happened to me I knew they would be set for life with all the money i was dropping off every month. Asia came running in the room and jumped up on my lap causing me and mama to laugh, this little girl was too much. I Planned on spended a few days with my family before I went back to L.A. But i couldn't lie I missed Dru and wondered what was gonna happen between us as time passed by.