losing you; gbd{rewritten & edited}

letter #21 [edited]

July 14th, 2017
2:58 pm
letter #21

The day that we had our first major fight always stayed in the back of my mind. We'd had minor once, arguing over stupid shit or one of us being stubborn, but this one, this one was real. It was the night that you had told me about you, the night you really came opened up to me about your past.

It was right after we had been out on a date, to this cool sushi place right next to the apartment, on our way back from getting frozen yogurt. We had been dating for around  eight months at this point, walking happily down the street when my you got a call.

You answered it, not bothering to check the caller ID. "Hello?"

There was nothing scarier than watching your dark skin drain of color. You looked like you had seen a ghost and if I looked hard enough, I swear I saw you close to tears.

You ripped your hand away from mine and spun around, talking quickly into the phone. I was trying my best not to invade your privacy, only catching broken sentences like, "that can't be true" and "no and I don't care" and lastly, "what am I supposed to do now?".

I looked at your body turned away from me and took in the defensive stance. You were tense and your fist was clenched tightly at your side. I racked my brain, trying to come up with any justifications on why this one call was making you so uncomfortable.

It was over just as soon as it started, your semi-red eyes focusing back on me. It made my heart ache. You didn't cry around me often, the last time being the night we said I love you, and it broke my heart every time.

Things like this would happen on occasion. You'd get a text and you went from happy to closed off in seconds or you'd come home after a long day at school and seem off.

Every time I asked you, you brushed me off, telling me it was a text or just 'family drama'. It made me sad to think that you were hiding something from me or worse; things were way more serious than you let on.

You were such a beautiful, beautiful person, so full of sarcasm and this special glow to you. You deserved to be happy always.

"Rena? What's wrong?" You shrugged at me, taking your hand and pushing your curls back.

"Nothing. Let's go home." You gave me a smile so forced it stunned me, before you walked away, heading in the direction we had been before.

I followed after you, confused. Who was on the phone? Why were you so upset?

We got to the apartment, me turning my key in the door and opening it, allowing you to go first. You walked through the threshold straight to our bedroom.

I closed the front door with a soft click, trailing behind you. You were changing your clothes and I leaned against the door frame, eyeing you with a raised eyebrow.

"Rena-" I began, but you cut me off immediately.

"I'm fine."

You shuffled to the mirror, taking out your ponytail and throwing your hair in a messy bun. Normally I would sit here and admire how beautiful you looked at any time of anyday, and yeah, I sort of was, but I was more concerned on why the light of my life, who rarely ever cries, cried because of a fifty second phone call.