A Promise From My Heart

18.

NOORIE'S POV

My mind was as blank as the canvas before me, as plain as its surface and I felt as empty as it was. It's been a while since I sat before the canvas, paint brush in hand, mixed paints on the stool next to me and all I did was nothing but hoped I will be able to paint. Yet, there have been no progress.

I have tried doing many other things hoping my blocked mind would open but there was no yielding result. Doctor Smith had told me to paint how I feel, what I feel but I do not even know how I felt at the moment. Even though I understood the mood I was in, there was no idea on how to express it on my canvas. It was a combination of a lot of emotions. Loneliness. Anger. Pain. Sadness. It was exhausting.

A quiet knock on the door caught my attention. Brother Yusuf waved at me.

"Hey!" I greeted. He acknowledge my greeting with a polite incline of his head.

"Are you trying to paint?" He had a pleased smile on his face.

"No! Yes! I don't know. Maybe but nothing's coming to my mind." I took down the canvas from the easel to keep away.

"Take your time. You will be able to do that with time. Do not force it."

"Thank you." I gave him a full smile.

He rubbed the top of his left brow. "Ehm.....have you heard from TY?" A slight frown brought his brows together.

"No. Any problem?" I took the bucket of brushes to keep in the shelf.

"I have been trying her number but it's unreachable and my messages are left unanswered. It's so unusual of her. Even though she does not pick my calls, she would have messaged me or called me at her own convenient time."

"Actually, we do not really talk. We barely talk." I confessed.

"That's bad. I hope you know that?" I shook my head in agreement. "Well, thanks. I will just ask Kenny if he has heard from her."

TY and I used to have a good relationship. We were not really the kind of sisters who did everything together. Neither were we the kind to wear the same clothes, take pictures together or do what most sisters do. We argue most of the time but I knew we cared about one another a lot. We had a different way of showing how much we cared for and loved one another. Not the kind that involves us hugging. I got her back when she needs me. It hurts if anything happens to her. I have fought for her times without number.

But fighting was our daily activity. It reduced as we grew up then TY grew distant the moment she hit puberty and those raging teenage hormones kicked into action. Since mom's death, we grew apart, very much apart. I do not really know what's going on in her life neither does she know mine. Her instagram page had been the only thing I had for an update about her life and most of the things there were not appealing to me. These thoughts brought a new profound sadness and made me realise I do not know my sister.

There was a little change in the weather. The sky had become grey and it was a little bit windy. It reminded me I did some washing in the morning. On my way down, I caught sight of Brother Yusuf and his wife talking in a very low harsh voice. Sister Amatullah was seated on the bed and Brother Yusuf stood few feet away from her.

Everyone knew there was a change in their relationship. We all felt it yet no one spoke about it. They barely talk. They walked by one another without exchanging any glance. It was a thing that hardly happen. The fault cannot be from my brother. It had to come from his wife. He loves her way too much to give her distance when they fight.

We all heard their argument the other day. It had to do with Sister Amy finding a job and not telling Brother Yusuf about it. She apparently did not tell anyone in my family. I ended up finding out she told dad and Alhaja. She lied to them that Brother Yusuf knew about her job hunt. I rolled my eyes in my head. Liar!