A Promise From My Heart

25.

It is a very long chapter!

YUSUF'S POV

The first year of marriage was challenging because it was our first time of living together. We came from different backgrounds, families, had lived different lives and now, we are merged together by marriage as one. We both had our own perspectives about life and things. Today, we stay under the same roof. We might have known one another for long but we were still strangers. Obviously, there would be differences.

Marriage was something I wanted. I had just not made it my number one priority. Building myself financially, emotionally, and spiritually, loving myself, finding me, and growing as a human being were my main concerns. Rushing into it was another thing I did not want to do. But if the right woman comes along the way, I would be ready to take the leap.

I knew for a very long time that there was no perfect marriage. There would be ups and downs and it takes the strongest, two willing minds and hearts to stay in it. I knew we would get to that point where we might want to be apart, maybe temporarily or for life. Yet, I took that risk because I wanted a companion, wanted to know what love meant, desired not to die old and alone, and needed an old age with lots of grandkids and laughter around me. I pray Allah grants me a long and fulfilled life with happiness, good health and prosperity.

One of the challenges we had in our first year of marriage was household chores. I grew up with a mother and two sisters and maids at a certain point in my life. Domestic tasks were not made compulsory for me. The pressure to know how to cook and be good at taking care of the house were more on the females. It was Noor who had to wake up early to cook and start cleaning the house. Most times, food was ready before I woke up.

My room was rarely kept kempt by me. It was the maid we had then who cleaned it. Running errands were things I did few times but grocery shopping was never one of them. I learnt that on my own with difficulty when I went to school. I could cook meals like rice, stew, fry egg, toast bread, boil or fry yam and noodles. Living alone in school had been the reason I knew how to do that and Fuad, who was my roommate for the remaining years I had in school was a good cook. He did the cooking most times.

In a flash, I was lured back to a place where Noor was angry, crying and shouting that she hated how mum does not put as much pressure on me and Kenny to do household chores as she did to her. TY was rebellious, never gave in. Mum had told her to shut up, had insulted and scolded her. That attitude by my mother had caused a big issue in my marriage.

No one told me not knowing how to do anything was going to be a problem in my marriage. They all said I was a man and it was not necessary for me to know these things because I would get married one day. My wife will do everything. That sounds stupid to me now. A woman would always be ready to put up with a lazy man but no man wants a lazy wife.

Seven weeks into our marriage, my wife and I had a fight. It had to do with pounded yam. Irrespective of how petty it sounds, it was not. Amatullah had asked me that morning before going to work what I wanted to eat for dinner. I was surprised because she rarely asks. Due to excitement, I had said pounded yam. It was something I have been craving for. She had nodded her head and smiled. I took that as a positive reply.

Aside from water, I had not really eaten anything because dinner was something I anticipated. I came back from work, tired and hungry to find out that dinner was not ready.

"Amy, did you not cook?" I questioned after Ishai that day when she had not called me for dinner.

"Yes, I did not." She kept her eyes on the TV.

"Why? Has the gas finish?"

"No, I did not feel like cooking." Her gaze was still fixed on the show.