We Got You

Late At Night I Worry

Emily woke up after a few hours of tossing and turning. She pulled out her phone and lit up part of the room with her bright screen. Not one text from Toby yet. She understood that he didn't want to talk because Spencer told her they broke up, but to not even text back an "I'm okay" just added to her worry.

She spent half of her time lately worried about Toby and Spencer, the other half of her time worried about what -A would do.

"Emily?" She heard Paige waking up next to her.

"I'm sorry if I woke you. I was checking to see if Toby had texted me."

Paige sat up and moved closer so she was in the light too. "Worried?"

Emily shook her head, but Paige knew her better than that. She leaned over and clicked on the lamp beside Emily's bed.

"Yes, you are. Talk to me Em. What is it?"

Emily took a deep breath. One look at her loving girlfriend and she couldn't hold herself together anymore. She promised Spencer she wouldn't tell the girls about Toby, but she didn't think that should include her girlfriend.

Paige waited patiently for Emily to start talking.

"Toby and Spencer broke up, I don't know why, but Spencer is a mess and Toby won't text me to tell me how he is doing."

Paige gave a sympathetic smile and wrapped her arms around Emily. "I'm sorry. I guess you and I are worried about the same person then." Paige said before she could stop herself. She didn't want Emily to know that what she had seen of Spencer's recent behavior had her concerned, but she told.

Emily blinked and looked over at Paige. "Toby?"

Paige gulped and looked down. "I meant Spencer."

Emily turned to face Paige better. "Why? It's just a breakup... I know she's a mess right now, but she is Spencer-"

"Exactly. She is Spencer. The one everyone thinks is actually kind of... unstable." Paige said trying to be cautious.

Emily gave a little scoff. "Everyone who?"

Paige took a breath. "Most of the school. I've heard some talk, mostly from the debate team, but also from some classmates. They heard about her outburst is Aria's mom's classroom." She said.

Emily started to get mad. "After everything we have been through, where do they get the right to talk about us like we are some scandal or something!"

Paige licked her lips nervously. Emily was already upset and she didn't want to upset her further, but she had to tell her what she noticed, what she suspected. "Em."

When she got Emily's attention again she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Toby and Spencer have broken up before right?"

Emily nodded. "Yes, but this time is different. This time Spencer seems lost."

Paige nodded. "I know. I am concerned about her. I know she is one of your best friends and I don't want to upset you or cause trouble if I'm wrong, but I think-"

"Wrong about what?" Emily asked becoming even more worried than she was earlier.

She took a deep breath. "I think Spencer may be harming herself." Paige admitted and waited for Emily's reaction to her confession. "Emily?"

Emily started laughing. "That's ridiculous! What would make you think that Spencer would- She is Spencer Hastings!" She kept laughing, but Paige could hear that it was just denial and defensiveness.

"Emily-"

"No. No, you're wrong, Paige. Spencer would never..." She trailed off. "What makes you think that she's doing that?" She asked after she took a moment to consider it.

Paige reached for Emily's hand knowing that she was in need of support.

"There are signs. You wouldn't see them if you didn't know about it. I'm sorry to be the one to say this Em, but Spencer has been showing the signs."

Emily gulped, then she took a deep breath and squeezed Paige's hand to brace herself. She knew that when Paige talked about this it would be hard. Opening up about a part of her life that she is not proud of and she regrets, but she loved that Paige was willing to open those old wounds if it would help out one of Emily's best friends.

"She seems distant and lost. She either wears long sleeves or she hides her wrists..." Paige took a shaky breath when she saw Emily glance down at her wrist. Emily never asked to see her scars and Paige never wanted her to see them, as light and healed as they might be, because she was afraid Emily would be ashamed of her and dump her.

Emily gave her a soft smile and moved her hand up to caress Paige's wrist. "It's okay, Paige."

Paige swallowed and continued. "She has said some hurtful things to you and your friends lately, right?" Paige asked her getting back on the subject of Spencer. Emily nodded. "That's to push you away. If you're mad at her then you won't be around to find out what she's doing or stop her."

Emily got scared. She yelled at Spencer the other day when she found her "strip studying" then Spencer ran up the stairs and she just left. She felt guilty. 'What if Spencer went upstairs to hurt herself? I just left.'

Paige saw the fear in Emily's eyes. "It's not your fault. You didn't know so don't blame yourself. There are other signs like feeling useless, or worthless, or even blaming yourself for things you have no control over, like what Alison did to me." Paige said trying to comfort her girlfriend and hold herself together.

Emily nodded, but she still felt gulity about it.

"Em, I could be wrong, but if I'm not you need to talk to your friends. But don't overreact, please, if I'm wrong and I accuse her..." Paige sighed. "I still want your friends to like me someday." She tried to soften the mood.

Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "They like you already, Paige. Maybe they didn't really before because they thought-"

"They thought I was this -A person trying to hurt you, all of you." Paige sighed. "I don't want them to think of me as some kind of bad guy."

Emily put her hand on Paige's shoulder and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Trust me, they don't anymore." Emily smiled.

Paige smiled. "There is no one I trust more."