We Got You

It's Okay Not To Be Okay

Aria walked over to Spencer and shook her shoulder gently. "Spencer? Are you awake?.. Spencer?"

Spencer groaned. "I am now that you are hovering over me and staring."

Aria sighed in relief. "I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm just glad you're awake."

Spencer sat up slightly. "I'm not. I was quite enjoying my slumber. I haven't had many good nights of sleep lately, but for once I wasn't furiously tossing and turning. I was actually asleep."

Aria sighed. "I-I'm sorry. I got- I had a- I just- I was worried, okay?"

Spencer turned to face her and frowned. "I know that look."

"What look?"

"The 'I just woke up from an awful nightmare and I'm scared to close my eyes again' look.. What did you see?"

Aria let out a shaky breath. "I was- I was at your funeral and you were burying yourself, begging me to help you, and then your wrists-" She shook her head and blinked back tears. "There was so much blood. I almost drowned in it." She gulped. "It was- It was the scariest thing I ever dreamt."

Spencer didn't know what to say so she just stood and pulled her best friend into her arms. "I'm sorry." She leaned her head down to Aria's shoulder and sighed. "I'm putting you, all of you, through so much. I'm so sorry." She pulled away, but Aria grabbed her hands to hold her there.

"Spencer, we're going through this with you, not because of you. We love you and care about you so much. We just want you to stay. You don't have to get better right away, we know it will take time. You can always talk to us about this, about anything." She turned Spencer's wrist over in her hands. "We're here for You as long as you stay with us." Aria whispered.

Spencer sniffed. "How could I ever think that you're not my friend?"

Aria gave her a small smile. "Your mind played a nasty trick on you."

Spencer bit her lip and pulled her arm out of Aria's hold. She reached into her pocket making Aria frown.

"So, I was right. You took the trash?"

Spencer gulped and handed Aria the razor blade. "Yes, but I don't need it."

Aria smiled. "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm proud of myself." She grinned.

"It's okay to not be okay, Spence, but it's not okay to not let us help you."

Spencer nodded. "I know. I love you guys. You're the best thing that ever happened to me." She looked at her other two best friends still fast asleep. "All three of you." She smiled.

"We love you too." Aria settled herself back on the floor, smiling up at her best friend as she situated herself on the couch again. "Goodnight, Spence."

Spencer yawned and closed her eyes. "Goodnight, Little Big One."

Aria closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep relieved to not be plagued with another nightmare. She knew it would take time; it would be a constant battle, a daily struggle, but eventually, as long as her best friends never left her side, supported her through everything, one day she would be able to say it was a war within herself that she had won. She would show her scars with pride and never let anyone make her feel like she had to be ashamed and hide them.

Spencer Hastings would overcome.