We Got You

They Understood

"Jason, move." Spencer growled out at him.

"Sure thing, Spencer." He moved inside further and gently pushed her back.

"I meant out of my way!" She yelled at him.

"Okay." He shrugged and stepped aside then he walked over to the girls.

Spencer sighed in relief, but her breath caught in her throat when she saw who stood behind Jason.

"Toby?"

He walked inside and she stepped backwards.

"Spencer, what's going on? First you break up with me and then Jason comes to tell me you are on drugs?" Toby frowned.

Spencer glared over at Jason, but he didn't even blink, then she looked back at Toby, but she couldn't meet his eyes.

"I just, um, I-I wasn't-"

"You broke up with Toby?" Hanna asked. "I thought he dumped you."

Toby looked at Hanna in shock, then he looked back at Spencer. "No, she skipped our anniversary, then she broke up with me." He frowned. "You said you couldn't handle having a boyfriend and I said I would wait, but if the reason you don't want to be my girlfriend anymore has to do with drugs then just tell me."

Spencer kept her eyes glued to her feet. "Toby, I- I don't want to hold you back. You deserve better."

Toby's frowned deepened and he stepped closer, but Spencer saw his feet and moved back again.

"Spencer, I love you and whatever you are going through we can get through it together."

Spencer shook her head. "No, we can't. I can't put you through that. It was easier to let you go."

His bottom lip quivered. "It was easy to let me go?"

"No. Just easier than, than watching me... die."

Toby's jaw dropped. "Who said anything about dying? Spencer, I won't let anyone hurt you. If someone threatened you then I'll kill them. I'll kill them with my bare hands before I let them touch you, I promise you." He said through gritted teeth.

"No, Toby. No one- It's not- It's just me. I want to die." She cried. "I didn't want you to know. I wanted you to move on and live your life away from me. I'm a poison."

Toby stared at her in fear and disbelief. "No, don't talk like that. You don't mean that, it's just all this drama in your life."

"Yes, I do mean it! I want to die, Toby! This isn't some new thing!" She showed him her scars. "This is me! The real me! I hurt myself! I do drugs! I try to kill myself! I hate who I am and I want her to die!" She sobbed. "I hate myself. This has nothing to do with -A. This is who I am. This is who I've been for as long as I can remember."

Toby tried to gulp, but his mouth was dry. He could hear her friends sobbing. He could hear her sobs and he wanted to hold her close, be her safe place to land, and never let her out of his sight. Instead he walked out while Spencer fell to her knees and sobbed.

It was Jason who went over and took her into his arms. Jason who held her close to keep her safe.

It was Paige who walked over and comforted her. Paige who told her that everything would be okay. Paige who knew.

Her friends could barely move or speak, only cry, and Toby just left her. But Jason and Paige were the ones there for her when she needed someone the most. They were her strength at a time when she had none, because they understood her pain more than anyone else.