Foreigner of Reality

12

Part of me hates you deeply. Every time I see your face I'm reminded of every second we had together. And I wish I could just punch you in the face and yell at you how much I hate you. I want you to feel the pain I've felt for six months after we broke up. I want to see you bleed because only then will I feel like you've felt what I've felt. You abandoned me and left me without one goddamn warning. One second I was excited for another date and the next I was laying on the floor screaming your name, wondering what I did wrong. What I did wrong. You broke me to a point where I believed you breaking my heart was my fault. And for every time you played with my heart after we broke up, giving me more false hope five times. I never got my chance you scream at you and tell you you deserve a certain place in hell. That no matter how good of a guy you are, I still want to to rot in hell because no matter how hard you tried not to hurt me, you fucking did. I want to to hear the thoughts that went through my head after you broke up with me. And how fucking desperate I was to find someone to fill your shoes, how low I sank. Honestly I wish you would've cheated on me. I wish you would've physically hurt me. I wish you did something horrible to me so I would have a reason to put you into my past. I want to forget you. Why can't I forget you? You have no idea how many days I've wished I never met you or that I got memory loss. Because I still think you're an amazing guy, that I must've done something wrong. Yet I'm fully aware I didn't do anything, I don't understand where we went wrong. That's why I'm still hung up on you. I can't get over the fact that neither of us did anything wrong. I honestly hate you, yet you still get stuck on my mind way too frequently. Honestly, get the fuck out of my life. I'm so sick of you fucking up my mind.