markson: discoveries

28 : the encounter

( hi hi hi almost 4000 words ahead woah. there better be some bomb ass comments on this shit )

mark's pov

"i know it's hard, but won't it be worth it not to have to buy a bunch of new pairs of shoes? shoes are expensive mark!" irene reasoned with crossed arms, sitting on the couch beside me as a random show played on the tv in front of us.

"and i understand that," i told her, letting out a sigh. "but i can't see him. i don't know how ill react if i see him. if i just have to be barefoot for the rest of my sad, lonely life, i will."

it had been 4 days at irene's, and i was feeling a heck of a lot better. don't get me wrong, what happened still crushed me to pieces, but irene kept me busy. she didn't leave me any time to sit and think about what'd happened. and it seemed ignoring the problem was the best solution to being a complete emotional wreck.

irene, currently, was trying to convince me to go back to the apartment and pick up a pair of shoes or two, as all i had was a borrowed pair of yoongi's that she claimed, 'didnt match anything i wore.' i mean i couldn't see it, but it bothered her quite a lot.

"what if you take someone with you to keep you calm and intervene if anything happens?" she suggested, picking her legs up into my lap as she made herself more comfortable on the couch.

"irene, i appreciate that you care so much about my sense of style being ruined by a pair of shoes, but taking you into my apartment to get more is just gonna result in you killing jackson and that would just make things worse," i told her, sarcasm hinted in my voice as i flipped through channels.

a thinking look settled onto her face. "well actually, you're probably right about that," she agreed, humming in thought. "ah, yoongi can go with you! he's a bit more level headed than me. and if jackson does anything you don't want him to yoongi's definitely intimidating enough to make him stop," she explained with a nod, contented that she'd found a solution to the problem.

i shut my eyes, head leaning back against the couch as i considered the idea. she did have a point, and i guess it couldn't go all too badly if i had yoongi there for support. "fine, ill go," i told her, picking my head up and slipping out my phone to text yoongi, telling him irene's idea. he replied quickly, saying that he would ( of course he wouldn't deny mark, he never really seemed to ), and we decided on doing it the following day.

and i guess it was decided.

tomorrow id be face to face with the man who broke my heart.

jackson's pov

i laid under the huge comforter that covered what used to be mark and i's bed.

id gotten up minimally for the last few days. to go to the bathroom, eat a cracker or two, and then straight back to bed.

i couldn't really bring myself to do much else.

it wouldn't be that bad if i just slept all the time of all my days away, but no, that wasn't it.

i hadn't lied in bed the past 4 days resting, and sleeping off my worries and problems.

id lied in bed the past 4 days lost in endless storming clouds of thought. why would i do it? what could i have done to avoid it? how was mark doing? was he healthy? happy? how much longer would this feeling of self-hatred and loneliness sit within the depths of my heart?

questions with no answers, or questions with painful ones, they all swirled and swirled around and around til i was so dizzy, so lost in my own thoughts that i could hardly function.

id never been this helpless and broken in my entire life and the fact that it was entirely my fault made it a thousand times worse.

i didn't know what to do with myself, really.