markson: discoveries

26 : helpless

( my writing style is totally different maybe a lil woops im sorry )

( also THIS PICKS UP RIGHT AFTER WHERE THE LAST CHAPTER ENDED )

3rd person

so mark walked out the door, with no second glance back to see if he'd been followed out. he didn't want to see jackson.

he didn't want a single thought of jackson in his head.

so he went to the one person that could help him with the intolerable feeling that overcame him.

the feeling of abandonment.

thankfully irene's was a short walk away. but when he lightly knocked on the dark burgundy door to the girl's shared apartment, he didn't expect to have it opened to showcase irene, as well as a man, a man about their age, sitting on the couch of the living room.

mark didn't look the best to say the very least. he hadn't cried, but he had the strongest desire to and a look of distraught stress was painted all over his features. upon noticing this, irene was immediately filled with worry for her closest friend.

"mark? what happened? what's wrong?" she asked, genuine concern spilling from her tone.

"you have company, im sorry," mark replied, his voice nothing but a whisper.

"him? that's just my date, or was my date. you look like you need my help much more than this guy needs to listen to my witty charm over a glass of wine. yoongi, meet mark, mark, this is yoongi," she said matter-of-factly as she tugged mark into the apartment, and towards the couch beside the confused looking, pale, dark circled young man.

"nice to meet you mark? id be a bit upset at you for interrupting but you look a tad like you're nearing a mental breakdown," yoongi replied, observing mark with a tilt of his head.

mark was so mentally tired he didn't really care if this guy was about to witness this, that was his problem.

"alright sweets spill the beans. what's going on?" irene asked as she sat beside mark, taking the boys hand into her own smaller ones, looking into his eyes as if maybe they'd tell her something themselves.

mark didn't even know where to start. his heart was racing with anxiety, his head was spinning. so he did the only thing he thought might make him feel the slightest bit better.

he cried.

mark leaned into irene's shoulder and began to absolutely bawl, mumbling here and there, trying, trying to get out words. but in all reality it had all happened so suddenly. and he hadn't even processed it completely.

a frown consumed irene's face. she hated to see mark this upset. he was her best friend, and sweet as sugar. he didn't deserve to feel such pain. she didn't even know what'd happened, but she knew it must've been traumatic to illicit such a response from mark.

"he cheated," mark finally managed to get out. "he cheated with his ex."

irene could feel her heart crack in her chest at the words. even yoongi, who had just met mark a couple minutes ago, felt a bit shaken to hear such a thing had happened to the poor boy.

after a couple more minutes of relentless sobbing, being held by irene with yoongi (a complete stranger by the way, but he wasn't heartless) rubbing his back, mark regained his composure, well, not really. but so much so that he could talk.

and he told them, he told them everything. the leaving early in the morning, when he'd admitted it was a friend who was sick, the day he'd gotten home and almost raped mark. and the confession just earlier that same day.

"and i just don't know how to feel," he told the two. "im so overwhelmed. i feel useless and stupid. but i guess that's just what i get huh? for trusting him? i should've known better," mark said with a sad, broken sort of chuckle escaping his lips. "i should've known i was worth just as much as any of the rest of them."

"where is he? tell me, where does he live. ive never seen someone cry this hard and i think this sicko needs a taste of my fist," yoongi blurted, suddenly aggressive. maybe it was a tad because he wanted to seem tough in front of the girl he was meant to be on a date with at this moment. but it was mostly because in this short time he'd found a soft spot for the broken boy somehow. and it genuinely angered him that somebody would treat mark the way jackson had.

"alright, alright, we get it mr. 175cm. but you are not fighting anybody today," irene reasoned, ignoring said boy's annoyed glare before turning to the boy loosely cradled in her arms. "i hate to see you like this mark, im so sorry. but don't think this is your fault. it's not. not at all. you trusted him a lot and someone breaking your trust hurts. but just because he broke it doesn't mean you were dumb to trust him. he was part of your everyday. you lived together, ate 2 meals a day together, slept together. he's been a really big part of your life for the past couple months and you've been through a lot together. you're not dumb. he was dumb to mess things up with the best guy i know," she comforted as she ran her fingers through his hair as he sniffled and nodded slightly.

"where do i even go from here?" mark asked quietly. "he was it. all i had. and now ive got nothing."

irene shook her head lightly. "that's not true. you've got me. and yoongi here too if he's up for it. and the guys from school? im sure they'd stick with you through this," she reasoned. "we're gonna be here and we're gonna get you past this, because you are strong and independent and capable mark."

mark let out a bitter chuckle. "im the opposite though. the exact opposite. i love him, im in love with him. and the teeny tiny voice at the back of my head telling me to go back to him because he's the best thing that's ever happened to me and the best ill ever get is all the proof i need to justify just how helpless i really am"

and with those last words, a combination of stress, anxiety, and mental exhaustion hit mark all at once, and his head fell back against the couch in a deep, deep slumber.

irene let out a soft sigh, her and yoongi exchanged a glance, worry painting both of their faces.

"why do the worst things happen to the best people?"

( here the fuck i am!!! )