Ronan: To the Moon and Back

7. That Feeling in Your Chest

Trigger Warnings: Panic attack, slight unintentional self harm, and the dealings of a hospital. Also, the idea of Rae in this chapter is inspired by The Holiday and Cameron Diaz's character, Amanda. 

Time for Rae sometimes passes by quickly, when photo deadlines for the Hospice newsletter are due. With doubles shifts and covering for coworkers who decide at the last minute that their hangovers are just too much to handle. She helps her mother with paying bills and cooking dinner for when she eats alone most nights. 

Time seeps by slowly on the days she visits Ronan. Playing hand games, singing him to sleep and watching as she sits by his bedside during his chemotherapy treatments. Another artist stops by on a Friday, a local musician who plays in pubs and coffee shops. He tries chatting up Raelyn, who honestly didn't mean to come off as uninterested and rude, but her mind was in other places. Is Ronan feeling better than the night before? Did she pay the water bill on time? Did she remember to turn off the stove for the tea she made her mother before she left in the morning?

However the local musician, a cute bloke with green eyes and blonde hair and those square black framed glasses, shows up on the same day that creeper Louis and his band of lost boys shows up. Rae doesn't honestly think he's creepy and she knows it isn't just his band, that they're a talented band of their own, but she still can't over him just showing up on her door step. She doesn't, can't, stick around for the awkwardness that ensues after that. 

A nurse informs her that her brother's been asking for her all through his breathing treatment. So she doesn't really get to chat with Louis, just a kind smile and a simple wave of a hand from him. Genuine formalities from Harry, with a greeting cheek bump, a quick hug from Niall, who apparently can crush backbones. A nod from Zayn, which she finds unnerves her because that boy intimates her in the best way possible, and a side hug from Liam. So the time passes in more ways than one, and nothing is really new for Rae and her life; except maybe for that one band that keeps showing up.

***

It's a slow Friday the first time Louis sees it happen; witnesses Rae in her dark moment. The boys are at the hospital again, as they have been every Monday and Friday for the pass month. Louis had a hand in convincing their management that going to sing to sick children twice a week would be good for the kids, and a good way for the boys to spend their break. Not to mention good publicity; which Louis didn't agree too, for management was the one who thought of that, despite Louis clearly showing his distaste for the matter.

"Why can't we just do it out of the goodness of our hearts?" A great question voiced by Harry during that meeting.

"And really, what's better than putting a smile on a child's face?" Louis had added.

Especially if one of those children was the younger brother of a certain beautiful girl, with the hint of mirth dancing in her tone and a camera always on hand. The one who always smiles kindly, genuinely, as Louis sings his solos. The girl who had a coffee cup in her hand a few days later, sipping happily as her brother coloured in the new book she bought him. The girl with that brown bag, that clearly means the world to her, slung over her shoulder. Louis, on several occasions, has to remind himself of his girlfriend, and not the bright, multicolored blue eyes that suddenly have been lingering on his mind every time her saw her. Granted, his relationship has been on the rocks for a good while now; they hardly talk to each other anymore, hardly see each other even when they're in the same city.

Louis' walking down the corridor, having just returned from the cafeteria with a cup of tea, if he can even call that god awful liquid in the paper cup tea, when he spots her. He tilts his head, curious as to why she's just standing there. Rae's staring out the foggy window, watching the rain fall outside, droplets chasing each other on the glass. Louis takes a step forward, excited to talk to her again, when he realizes something isn't quite right.