Ronan: To the Moon and Back

27. The Worst Things in Life Come Free to Us

TW: Hospital reality, implied minor death, mild anxiety attack and mild unintentional self harm.  

Seven months has passed since that first day at Hummingbird Hospice. The feelings all five boys get from just putting smiles on the children's faces gave them a natural high. Seven months since they met Rae and Ronan. Louis finds it to be quite surprising, yet comfortable with how easily Rae got along with them. He himself, never expected to become that close to her as quickly as he did. They both just seemed to understand each other, read each other like open books.

Rae always knew when he had his quiet days, when he just simply wanted to be left alone after a fight with his now ex girlfriend. Or when the status of his fame got to be too much to handle, or when he missed his family. She knew how to bring him down a level if his Peter Pan type personality was getting too much for the kids in the hospice. Or she would just humor him and go along with it. She knew when Louis was truly angry, like right after the paparazzi incident. She would notice by the way his jaw set, how his eyes would narrow, and how he just seemed to seethe out steam. She could always tell when he'd have a bad day, when he did fight with Eleanor, or when the fans just got too much when they were, once again, mobbed coming out of Angelique's camera shop.

Later, once they were back at his flat, to make him feel better, Rae teased him about his profanity filled rant. Pointing out the part that made her have to hold back her laughter, and animatedly telling the other boys what had happened. It was during that moment, the other four boys realized something. As Rae continued to poke fun at their mate, they noticed how different Louis laughs around her; his demeanor around her is.

It's because of her, the usual light in Louis' eyes had come back, brighter than before. It never truly went out, just dimmed from his draining relationship, and stress of their job. Though they love what they do, they'd all rather not take most of what comes with it. Louis looks at Raelyn like she's the stars lighting the night sky. Raelyn looks at Louis like he hung the moon, and yet, neither of them realize it.

Sometimes Niall just wants to smack Louis upside the head for being so ignorant of his feelings for her. Liam quietly just shakes his head and sighs every time he catches them playing look away. Be it at lunch across the table, across the hallway of the Hospice, and even when Ronan is sitting happily on Louis' lap. If they could only catch each other doing it.

Harry will nudge Louis' arm or wink at Rae when the other shows up and the one he's next to either falls silent or suddenly loses their train of thought. Zayn, well Zayn just shakes his head fondly because their flirting is subtle but noticeable enough for him to catch it every time. He just looks at Louis expectantly with his eyebrows raised and snuffing out his fag with the soul of his shoe when he watches Louis walk Rae out to her car. Normally by the time Louis is within earshot, Zayn's mumbling a "kids these days" line and walks away.

Louis reads Rae just as well, if not a little better. He knows when she was upset, concerned, stressed. He knows when she's had a rough nights sleep, plagued by her nightmare; whether she calls him at night or sees her in the morning. He can tell when she's nearing her breaking point, and when her eyes become glassy, but remain dry with the tears she can't produce. 

Louis knows it's a bad day when Rae's breathing becomes frantic and eventually turns into a panic attack. How instead of rubbing her chest when it's mild, her fingernails actually dig into her skin, and her teeth practically cut into her bottom lip. He hates those days. Hates when he feels like he is so helpless to her, but he still takes her hand in his and knows all she needs is an anchor. Something, someone, to hold her tight, hold her down to the ground and has the knowledge that she's not alone.