33. The Looove Experts...Kind of..It's Just Liz

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The rest of Christmas Eve night goes well, all except for the possibility that Rae deliberately tries to avoid Louis. Her heart hasn't settled down after their moment outside, though its been well past an hour. She sticks close to Ronan when she can, until Louis eventually finds them, and lets Ronan sing him Happy Birthday with Louis' face between his small hands while she slips away.

She makes quick friends with Harry's sister, exchanging numbers when she asks if she could possibly shoot her friend's wedding. Excited about the opportunity, Rae agrees immediately. The two ladies sit and chat for a good amount of time, before Harry interrupts them. After a playful push from Gemma, Harry takes Rae by her arm and leads her upstairs and away from the holiday gathering. He doesn't speak until he gently shoves Rae into her room, closing and locking her door.

"I saw you both." Is all Harry says.

"Gemma and I?" Rae feigns cluelessly. "Obviously, you just whisked me away."

"You know what I mean."

Rae takes a step around Harry, trying to avoid looking at those green eyes that see everything right through her. She can't be bothered with trying to analyse her own actions right now; it's why she's been trying to keep busy, be a social butterfly and a good party host.

"Can we please just not talk about this? It was just friendly chit chat. A good ol' platonic, completely innocent, normal talk. That's it. I just want to try and enjoy me Christmas with Ronan before he goes back tomorrow. Not think about how I wanted to-"

Rae halts her words, freezing at her own thoughts. Her heart rate picks up again, and before she can really grasp what's chaotically running through her head, through her heart, she's turning to unlock the door.

"Rae-?"

"Just," She looks over her shoulder at Harry; all too knowing and gentle eyes, yet burning with curiosity. "Later, okay? Later."

***

The party goes on until one in the morning, Rae and her mother finally ushering out the last of the families. Louis finally finds her alone in the kitchen, while she's wrapping left over pie in foil. She knows he's there, watching her, knows his eyes are burning into the side of her head. She feels it with heart palpitations, entirely Louis' fault and all he's doing is standing there. Rae sees him move towards her from the corner of her eye. He's still quiet when he starts helping her pack away the remaining leftovers.

She doesn't know how it suddenly got like this. If their moment outside changed everything or just awoke her realizations. But there was snow falling, and sparkling lights and the smells of balsam and pie. Sounds of joyous laughter, and holiday songs, the serene calm of the night while they stood out in the back. The way Louis' face glowed beneath the lights, the soft expression he wore while looking at her. His gentle touch, his mirthful blue eyes. That small crooked smile he gave her when the snow melted on her nose; made the little crinkles by his eyes appear.

She wanted to kissed him. She wanted to know what it would feel like. Wanted to know if he was hoping for the same thing as she was. She had a spark of confidence the moment she noticed that bloody little plant. Had it when she raised herself on her toes; and lost it when a spike of fear clench through her chest.

It was a small spasm, unrecognized by Louis, but enough discomfort for Rae's thoughts to stray, and she backed out. Kissed him on the cheek instead, and now it's all she can think about. Why won't her heart just stop racing like it's trying to outrun a gun. She feels before she sees a touch gently graze over her knuckles, looks up to see Louis staring at her inquisitively.

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