Ronan: To the Moon and Back

31. Can You Lie Next to Her and Give Her Your Heart; and Confess Your Love

"How about this one then?"

Louis' soft voice brings Rae out of the depths of her mind. Throws out a rope for her to grasp and pull her from the dark waters that she always tends drown herself in. It's there at the bottom of those waters, do the panic attacks begin; where the shadow of her nightmares are born. When she tries to look around, frantic with lungs burning for air, that she sees nothing. Nothing but a endless black void, like she's floating in the deepest, mysterious part of the ocean where only God knows what's down there. It's where she feels alone. With nothing, with no one, no sound, no light. Just alone with her thoughts.

Until she finally sees blue. Just a glint like it reflects against a sun not present in her void. Blue like the rope thrown to her, blue like the eyes in the picture she was staring at that brought her into her void in the first place. Blue, like the skies, like shallow clear waters. Cerulean blue eyes assessing her own with deep concern laced in between.

"Raelyn?"

Rae blinks back to reality; gray skies with bright, white snow falling outside her window. She feels Louis' hand, heavy and comforting on her shoulder and she realizes she has yet to respond. 

"Right, yeah." Rae shakes her head a little. "Erm, sorry what?"

Louis looks like he wants to ask, but ignores it instead and smiles despite himself. He squeezes her shoulder once, then uses the same hand to point to the picture he was talking about. A different one from the one Rae was gazing at before.

"I was saying how about this one? In the store."

Rae follows his finger. He's pointing a picture of Ronan nestled with his back against Harry's chest, his arms bracketing her brother in safely on his lap. The only indication that the other person in the photo is Harry, is the little cross tattoo etched on his left hand. Hands that are engulfing Ronan's smaller ones. When Rae took the picture, she had been contemplating the sight in front of her for several minutes; noticing the contrasts of their dark and light shirts, the safety in the comfort Ronan had while sitting in Harry's lap. Relaxed, with tired eyes that blinked slowly every few seconds. Harry was distracted at the time, talking to Niall, when Rae finally took the picture. Only Ronan was watching his sister the whole time. He ended up falling asleep a few moments later.

"To display in the store?" Rae questions. "Isn't it kind of intimate?"

Louis' hand drops to his side. "Erm...yes? Yes. But it's- well, yeah. Alright, never mind then."

"No, Louis. I meant that it's a rather sad looking picture. Like what if someone comes in all happy, and sees it. Here's this child who looks sick and lethargic and their thoughts runs away with them. He is okay? Is he hurting? Why is the photographer depressed? Why's he holding him like that? Why are those eyes staring into my soul? Is he dy-"

Rae thought she cut herself off on her own, then realizes that it's not her own hand on her mouth, it's Louis'. It's Louis' fingers, four of them, pressed over her lips to halt her words in her mouth. His eyes have the same concerned look they had earlier, but once again decides against the questions burning on the tip of his tongue. His eyes fall to his fingers on her lips. He watches as Rae's lips part a little, inhaling a hitched breath, then slowly, maybe a little too slow, removes his fingers, with maybe a lingering graze on her bottom lip. 

The air between them changes a little; swirls around like the snowflakes falling outside, and its suddenly a lot warmer than it was a second ago. If they could hear each others heartbeats, they would both be comforted in knowing that they're not alone with how fast its beating against their chests.