Ronan: To the Moon and Back

21. Rae's Infuriating Habit of Thinking It Doesn't Matter

There are times when Rae just seems completely confused. As if she literally has to stop and stand still, trying to figure out someone's thought process. Three days after the baking fest is one of those times. Rae just stands there in her doorway silently, staring in disbelief at the little white, gray and brown fluffy creature in Louis' hands. He's holding it out as if it was a smaller version is Simba; if he was a calico. She blinks once, finally breaking her gaze from the furball to Louis' eyes.

"What, the bloody hell is that?" Rae asks slowly.

"It's a platypus." Louis deadpans, then tilts his head. "It's a kitten, what's does it look like?"

"I know it's a kitten, Sassy McSasserson. Why on earth did you bring it here?"

Louis shrugs. "I found him. All alone under a bus bench. Alone, crying and small. Alone." If Louis' point of the cat being alone is dawning on Raelyn, he can't tell.

"Okay...so?"

"So, I thought you'd love to take her in because I can't, especially not after I told Harry we don't have the means to take care of any living creature. We can hardly take care of ourselves and she was hiding from the rain and she's hungry and-"

"Louis." Rae stops him firmly. "I don't want a cat."

"But she's so cute." Louis brings the kitten to his chest, nuzzling his nose against the cats ear. "See, she's purring. Here."

He quickly hands the kitten over to Rae who fumbles around for a good grip. There's a moment where the cat and her are staring at each other, intense and quite. Suddenly she looks away and holds the cat away from her body like its a bomb.

"I don't want it."

"Raelyn." Louis changes his tone, abruptly concerned about the standoffish way Rae's coming about.

"No!" Rae snaps, gently shoving the kitten back into Louis' arms. She meows in distress. "I said I don't want it. Now if you'll excuse me, I just need to get me camera, then leaving for the park." Rae turns around without bothering to close the door behind her.

Confused, and a little downtrodden, Louis shuts the door for her and sets off to find the kitten a home. Who cares if he ends up driving back to his flat, and plopping the kitten right down on Harry's stomach while he's reading. He tells Harry they're fostering the cat until he can find her a home. Harry holds in his excitement and instead asks if everything's alright.

"Something's off with Raelyn today." He answers, grabbing his football and heading back out. "I'm going to the park."

***

Louis spots her on the bench beneath a huge tree, providing shade while she rearranges the contains of her camera bag. It looks as if several things had fallen out again from the hole, and she aggressively shoves every item back in. Louis hangs back, opting to watch her for a few moments.

He's never seen her this way before; all frazzled and agitated, it kind of scares him. Though as he watches, he actually notices what she's doing physically, subconsciously. Her right foot is anxiously bouncing up and down, her hands are jumpy, and it takes her three tries to get the film in correctly. Her jaw is clenching and unclenching, and every ten seconds her hand presses down on her chest, rubs once in a circle, then continues to fiddle with her camera.

Louis finally chalks it up to a bad day at the Hospice. That maybe something happened to Ronan; chemo went wrong, he's losing more strength, he isn't responding to treatment. Fear sears through Louis, and he realizes, like the idiot he is, that he shouldn't just be standing there. His feet move forward before he can register it.