(Finished) Saying Excuses jacksepticeye x reader. SEQUAL TOO DRESSED IN FEAR

Everything Worth It

Jack's P.O.V.

You run, faster and faster, hoping to find your safe spot. You don't care about your leg anymore; you don't care about the physical pain, because all you can think about is the mental torture yet to come.

The wind hits your face, which only makes you run faster. White corridors flash before your eyes, white hallways greet you only to find you leaving so soon and patient stare at you, jealous because you can leave this place and they can't.

You need someone to talk to, someone who doesn't care what you say, someone who will understand and someone who can't judge your behaviour. You pass the doors from the intensive care and try to search your friend.

Panting like you are, you stand in the middle of the room, realizing you have brought a red line of blood with you, following your every move.

Your suit is ruined by the blood and dirt on it, and while you look like a zombie coming straight from a horror movie, you make your way to your own dying friend. Tears fill your eyes, blur your vision, and make life a living hell.

Your friend is laid in the very end of the room, pushed in a corner, as if he has been forgotten by everything and everyone except you. And as you so gladly run to his breathing body, you notice that the other people in the room try to find the door and leave.

You know you are scaring them, but you have never found yourself caring less. And while you sit down next to the YouTuber, waiting for him to open his eyes, tell you that it will be alright and hug you, you cry.

'I miss you,' you confess, your puffy red eyes swollen by pure sadness. Your voice shakes while you talk about your feelings, and as the high timbre fills the room, you take his hand, hoping that he will hear you.

He can't hear you.

A voice in your head echoes the truth, which you try to ignore so stubbornly. His call slices through your mind like knives and as you cringe in pain, you try to grab a hold of your ears as if hoping the words would not enter your brain.

'Yes he can!' you scream to no one but yourself. More tears roll over your cheeks and you slide your hand under your nose, hoping to not look like a complete mess. 'I know he can,' you whisper, your voice unsure, full of doubt that anxiety has put inside you.

You take his hand and breathe very heavily, like you have run a thousand miles without stopping. 'Don't let me hanging, Mark,' you whisper even softer, caressing his hand with your fingers.

Oh he will.

Another rush of pain fills your veins; you shiver and shake as the agony is become too much for you. And because you know he is right, you know that the doctors don't expect Mark to wake up, ever again. Yet you need him to, you want to be able to hear his laugh again.

The sun collides with your face, blinding your blue eyes for only a second. The white flash of the morning says his hellos as he tries to convince you from the happiness and joy in the world, though all you can do is cry.

'Top of the mornin to ya laddies,' you whimper. Your Irish accent takes a hold of your voice and all you can do is let is, as you have no energy to fight the Irishness today, and you know you will not be able to fight it any other coming day.

'You probably want to know what happened don't you?' you say softly, smiling sheepishly about the fact you are going to tell someone what has happened, knowing he cannot talk back to you. Yet you don't mind him being quit, you need that silence for just a slight second.

You notice someone coming into the intensive care, his footsteps heavy as he is burdened with the weight of a thousand sad memories and hundreds of sins. The person uses no words to identify himself with, all he did was sit down next to you and let a tear roll down his face.

And that single moment, was more meaningful than a thousand words, heavier than a thousand rocks and sadder than all the sad movies smashed into one big episode. And as the clear drop rolled down his cheeks and he blinked his crystal blue eyes, he laid his hand on your shoulder.

'Hey buddy,' he smiles. You could tell he was sober. His broken voice echoed through the giant hall of patients and reaches your poisoned mind, making you look up from Mark his hand you had held so tenderly and soft.

You lean your head against his shoulder and close your eyes, hoping to get a second of sleep or drift off into this world where everything is alright and there are no worries, crazy people, dying friends and girlfriends but only calmness.

'Don't drift off to sleep yet,' his voice says and your blue eyes open again, only to stare at the white covers of your friend and before you can ask the Swede why, he already answers your question.

'Y/N is in quarantine, you could visit her but I advise you not to,' he says slowly, and as the words come into your ears and break every form of happiness you had left, you rub your eyes, not wanting the tears to blur your vision again.

'Is she...' you can't get yourself to ending the sentence, the words will lay upon your heart so heavy if you do and the answer will hunt you for years. Yet Felix still gets you, blinks away another tear and speaks up.

'She's alive.'

That's all you needed to hear, the short sentence making everything bearable again, making everything worth it. And as you find a smile on your face, you realize there is another person you need to ask about.

'How's F/N?' you ask quietly, hoping you didn't hurt her too much. You felt so bad for her, for what you did, but you needed some space and you can get pretty brutal if you need some space.

'She's fine. Some bruises and pain but she's going to be okay,' he answers. You feel already worse, as you have literally kicked your girlfriend's best friend, and it wasn't even something you wanted to do. It just happened.

'But that's not why I've come,' you freeze, afraid to hear why he has come to you. You don't want to hear it, though you crave so dearly for an answer. Then he continues: 'I have come to tell you that when I was with Y/N I found out she had written something in her own blood.'

You look into his eyes, wanting him to lie, not letting him finish his story. You don't want to hear her note, the last words she thought were most important to write in her own pain, not the very love letter she wrote to the person she most cared about. Yet Felix just decides you didn't have a choice but to listen.

'I love you Seán.'

And with those words, Marzia, Matthias and F/N walk in to support you. F/n walks first; you envy her grace and courage, hoping to ever have that yourself. They all take a chair and place it around a circle, making you the main attraction. And all that sudden love hits you like a wave.

'I'm sorry,' you say, first apologizing to F/n because she deserves it the most. And when her lips curl into a sweet smile you find yourself relax. She takes it like it happens every day, and tries to let you know it is okay to snap sometimes.

'I get it better than you'd think. It's okay to be angry,' she says, giving you another smile. But you can't smile back. And as her smile drops, you hear how another one of your friends takes to word.

'I got a call from Mark's brother. He'll visit Mark soon enough, he's on his way and will arrive shortly,' Matthias whispers, trying to inform the group of friends why he has been calling all the time, though he looks like he hates himself for it.

You are happy that Mark has such a caring family. That they are willing to travel miles for each other, and you know your family would too. Yet you also know that some families won't or can't, and thereby you feel blessed with your happy little family in Ireland.

Without any reason F/N stand up and decides to leave, as you watch her back say goodbye you ask louder than you wanted: 'Where are you going?' which she respond with by a glare stronger than any word, though she does respond at your question.

'I'm going to the bathroom,' she says as a tear walks down her face so suddenly. Marzia looks up and decides to go with her, already standing up. But your girlfriend's bestie decides that she wants to be alone.

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SORRY FOR THE LONG UPDATE OKAY?1! sorry those capitals were not intentional but I'm too lazy to fix it XD
I hope you enjoyed and sorry again for being gone, just had a lot of school stuff going on. I'm really sorry, like honestly. I'm feeling so bad right now. Just hope you understand.

XX Blue