I'm Not Insane (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 23 - How?

Unknown pov

Darkness. Cold black ink drowns me in its waves. Then, I see a light. I reach towards it, wanting to feel it's warm glow. So warm...

It gets brighter, until I blink my eyes open. A face stares down at me. The light blinds me a bit, and I shut my eyes a bit. Fog clouds my mind, shadowed memories blurring in my head.

"Come on, son, you've been sleeping for too long now," a familiar voice calls.

"Dr...Wilson?" I groan, looking up at the man.

He grins. "Of course. Glad you're with us now." 

"What's going on?" I ask him, feeling  confused.

What happened? My brain can't think properly. Something strange tickles my thoughts. Something important. I thought... I thought...

"Didn't I die?" 

"More or less. I'll explain it to you in a bit. Right now, though, we need you to take this," he said, showing me a set of pills.

"Pills? But aren't those for-" 

"Insanes? Well, of course. We can't have you hurting yourself." 

"But I'm not-" 

He shakes his head. "No, son, you're a Special now." 

That one sentence sends my head reeling, the fog in my head lifting to give me a painful image. I'm an Insane now? I have an ability? How? How did this happen?! I was human! How? What happened?

"What the fuck? I'm not an insane! I'm human!" I tell him, getting panicked and angry.

"Calm down. Take the pills; you'll feel better," Dr. Wilson tells me, handing me the pills.

I watch them sit in my hand, horrified. I know what these things do. I'll become one of their puppets in a few years, ready to kill Specials. It's what I've wanted for so long, for all the Specials to be dead, but now that I'm one? And what about him?

"Dr. Wilson, I'm not an insane, I'm human! I can't take these for years on end, it could hu-"

He stops me, sighing. "It won't be years. We're putting you on stronger doses, so you can be out of here in about six-to-eight months. I'll explain everything later. I'm sorry, but this is how it's going to be for the rest of your life. We have a few theories, and we'll explain them to you. For now, take the pills and we can put you back in your room." 

My room... his room... our room. I'll get to see him again. He'll be there, waiting for me, probably drawing on his walls again, or singing to himself. 

But wait...

I'm not his aide anymore. I'll never be. I'll never get to see his smiling face again. He doesn't even know what happened to me. Last time I saw him, he looked so hurt. Because of me.

"Dr. Wilson," I speak up.

"Yes?"

"Ryan...where is he right now?" I ask him, feeling like I need the answer.

"Oh, he's in the other wing now. His new aide is doing wonders for him. He'll be out of here soon, as well," he said.

Something in me feels pained. Why do I feel so hurt?  I shouldn't feel so hurt.

Yet...

If Ryan really isn't going to be with me anymore, is that really bad? I don't want to see him become someone he's not, or get hurt again. At least now, we can both go our own ways. I just hope he's okay.

I stare down at the pills in my hand again, before popping them into my mouth. I swallow, feeling strange. I used to be the one who gave people these exact same pills, but now I'm the one taking them. It doesn't feel right. It shouldn't feel right. Just a few minutes ago, I thought I was human. I should be human. I don't know how, but now I'm one of the things I wanted dead.

"Will... will I ever see him again?" I ask.

Dr. Wilson shakes his head. "You know the rules, Asher. Patients aren't allowed to see each other. Besides, he was just another assignment. I know you probably feel bad because you never finished your job, but he's in good hands now. Trust me," he says, ruffling my already messy hair.

"I understand."

He grins. "Now, let's get you to your old room. It's been cleaned, and less cramped without another person to share with. As for an aide, since you're a special case, I personally will be preparing you."

Special case. I'm special now. I'm a Special now.

How?

"Okay," say, finally letting all the information sink in.

I'm alive, I'm a Special, and I'll never get to see Ryan again.

Dr. Wilson helps me stand up, carefully helping me into a wheelchair. He takes me down the familiar hall, then to the same cell I've been in for more than a month. 

"Here we are," he tells me, opening the door.

It's empty, except for my stuff. All of Ryan's things are gone, including his paintings. Scrubbed clean from off the walls. The room doesn't smell like him anymore, either. It just smells like a new coat of paint and disinfectant. My heart clenches again. He really is gone. I'll never get to see him again.

Dr. Wilson looks down at me, frowning slightly. "Asher, go to sleep. You must be tired. I'll explain everything in the morning. It's already almost ten at night."

I nod, feeling slightly numb. He helps me onto my bed, before leaving me be. All my stuff is still here. It's surprising, really, seeing as I'm a patient now. I guess they thought I would be fine with it all since I used to be one of them. A small mercy. They won't spare me, though. They'll figure out how I became a Special, and then send me off to kill innocents.

Innocents.

I've never thought of Specials as innocent. They were all monsters to me. Until I met Ryan, and now I'm one, too. I'm not a monster, though. I'm me. Ryan's himself. He's not a monster. No, far from it. They're all innocent, aren't they?

I shake my head, dispelling anymore thoughts. Now isn't the time to be worrying myself. I need sleep. I lay down, staring up at the ceiling. By now, Ryan would've been sound asleep, and I would've been waiting for the moment his nightmares started.

But that will never happen again.

My eyes start to grow heavy, and I succumb to sleep, wishing I was back in that endless sea of black; it would be less painful than this.

Ha, so this was actually something I planned a while back, when he was dying. They'll explain what happened in the next chapter as well!