Being Us

Chapter Fourteen

It's six o'clock in the morning and Lucas is still here. He's still trying to keep us together. He even suggested us sleep together. He's going back to it now.

"I'm not trying to screw you and then break up I just think if you make that connection with me maybe you'll change your mind."

I was up in the kitchen washing dishes.

"No Lucas. I don't want to change my mind. I'm not going to change my mind. Why can't you just let go Luke? Just let it go."

"Because I love you stupid!"

I leaned against the counter and sighed.

"I love you too Luke. Just not the way we thought I did."

He came up to me and rubbed my back. Tears were threatening my cheeks with their salty wet swords and my throat clenched.

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to be hurt by me Lucas I just don't know what to do."

"Please Rina? Please don't dump me like this. I love you so much and I don't want to let you go. Rina..."

He was sobbing. My insides were screaming and my body felt aflame. I tried with all of my will not to burst into tears of my own. I failed.

"Lucas I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you too but differently. I don't know how and I don't know why but I can't. I can't!"

I sat on the floor in front of my sink. He pushed his hands through his hair and sat next to me. I looked at him and immediately discovered how vulnerable and saddened he is. I kissed him...

We were sitting there quietly. Lucas was rubbing my shoulder, a comfort I won't ever feel again. Lucas looked over at me and smiled.

"You were right... I found our disconnection Rina... We don't love each other the way we thought."

I nodded and kissed his cheek.

"I do love you, you know."

I said. Lucas nodded and came back over to me.

"We can be friends. Just better friends than usual."

He put his hand on my thigh and I considered his suggestion.

"I don't know Luke. That sounds like a bad idea."

"You're not that kind of girl anyway. Goodbye Rina."

"Bye Luke."

He left. I'm alone... Completely alone... Actually no. I'm not alone. Charles still keeps in touch. I still have to teach him how to text but we've still spoken. I don't know what to do with myself. Lucas has been my entire life since Grey has been gone.

My phone is ringing and I run to answer it. I'm naked.

"Hello?"

It's a number I don't recognize.

"Hey..."

My heart stopped.

"Hello..."

"... Pretty Rin? What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I- I'm fine... How are you?"

"I'm good. Miss you though."

"I miss you too."

"I have a surprise for you."

"What's that?"

"Open your door."

I looked down at myself and went to grab a t-shirt and underwear to throw on.

"You at your door?"