Batman's sons.

Chapter 11-Returning home

A/N: Contains self harm and purging.

Dick stood before the steps of the manor, the place he has grown up in his whole life, now felt strange and unfamiliar to him. He inhaled sharply as his blue eyes scanned the building. It was so quite and felt so cold to him. 
Dick then felt a tug on his arm and looked over to see Tim standing beside him, pulling him out of his frozen state.

"Come on Dick'' said Jason who walked up the stairs and just as he was about to open the door, Alfred opened it.
Just seeing Alfred and the door to his home opening up, Dick's breathing picked up.

"It's okay Dickie'' whispered Tim beside him and Dick nodded his head, he had to get control over this, he had to show all of them that he was fine and strong and that this was just a stupid moment of weakness and that he was so sorry for letting them all down. Dick inhaled sharply and took a few steps forward. 
Each step he took felt heavier than the last one as if something was trying to pull him to the ground and away from his home.

"Hello Master Richard, it is so wonderful to see you again. Come in sir and I'll get you something to eat'' said Alfred with a warm smile on his face. Dick nodded his head but just the mention of food made his stomach turn and he felt really sick. He felt like he wanted to puke right now but he knew that there was nothing in his stomach at the moment for him to throw up. So he bit his bottom lip and slowly made his way up the steps and into his home.

The doors closed loudly behind him making him slightly jump a little bit. His eyes looked around as if it was his first time in the manor but it was far from it. He slowly made his way into the kitchen behind Jason, Tim and Alfred.
When they got into the kitchen, Damian was sitting in there eating a sandwich with a cookie on his plate. Jason shoved Dick's shoulder to get his attention with an evil grin on his face as he slowly moved over towards Damian and tried to take his cookie off his plate, the word being tried.

Damian quickly snatched the cookie with one hand while his other hand gripped tightly onto Jason's wrist and twisted it behind his back.

"Ow! Okay! Okay, I'm sorry! Geez let go already!" yelled Jason and Damian smiled and released his hold on Jason's wrist and smiled at him and then took a huge bite out of his cookie and hopped off his seat. 

"Next time, don't be so foolish'' said Damian who patted Jason's head who shot him an evil glare. Damian turned and his eyes widen slightly before returning to their normal size.

"It's good to see you home Richard.'' said Damian who then walked out of the kitchen. 

"Now, if we are all done with the rough housing, will you take a seat?" said Alfred as he pulled a fresh tray of cookies out of the oven. Both Jason and Tim rushed over and sat down ready to eat as much cookies as Alfred was willing to let them. Dick sighed and glanced over at the freshly baked cookies, feeling his stomach twist into knots. 
Dick slowly made his way over and sat down by his big brothers sides and waited for the chance to escape to his bedroom and cut.
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After eating a sandwich and a cookie, Dick rushed up to his bedroom, shutting his door behind him and began to pace around the room. His hands were shaking like crazy and his breathing was irregular at the moment, he was panicking right now. 

As much as he didn't want to throw up he felt like he had to or this sickness he was feeling right now would never end. 
Over and over again in his mind, he kept telling himself that he would feel better if he just got rid of it, that everything would be better if he just purge. And so that's what he did. 

Dick rushed off into his bathroom, shut the door and locked it. He paced around for a second more before he completely convinced himself to purge. Dick tossed the toilet seat up and let his knees hit the ground. Dick looked into the water for a moment before he bent over and shoved his fingers into his mouth. He pressed them roughly down, forcing up the lunch Alfred made for him.

Dick continued to purge until his nose began to bleed. He let himself crash backwards against the wall, breathing heavily. Dick closed his eyes as he tried to take in deep and calming breaths while he held his bleeding nose. He currently had a headache that was very painful and he knew it was because of him throwing up but right now all he wanted was for it to be gone and for him to have some peace and quite. 
But his mind wasn't going to let him have it just yet.

 He began to feel terrible about making himself throw up, seeing himself as a bigger failure than before. Dick knew deep down want he had and needed to do. 

He needed to cut.

A little bit after his nose stopped bleeding and he cleaned his hands and brushed his teeth, Dick grabbed his hidden razor in his bathroom and sat down on the cold floor. He held the small, sliver razor between his fingers, getting lost in thought as he stared down at it before he slowly pulled his long sleeve t-shirt up and glanced down at his arm that was lined up with markings he has created.

He hated looking at his arm, it was ugly.
"Just like me" thought Dick as he sighed and held the blade above his skin. He kept telling himself one more cut wasn't going to make a difference on his skin and with that thought running in his head, Dick brought the blade down on his skin.

Dick pressed down and slide the razor blade slowly across his skin, leaving a red bloody line behind. He sighed in relief from the feeling he got from cutting and put the blade back down on his skin to cut again and again.

After Dick cut, he was left with 13 new cuts on his wrist, some where still bleeding because they were deeper than others. Dick put a few bandaids on his cuts and yanked his long sleeve down to him them from everyone, including himself.

Dick slowly made his way out of the bathroom, totally lost on how long he was truly in there and sat down on his bed as a wave of tiredness washed over him.
He laid down on his bed, which he didn't realized he had missed so much. He missed being in his bedroom a lot but also he hated it too because in here he could escape everything the outside world had and he could let his inner demons free to harm him even more so.

Dick inhaled sharply as he stared up at his ceiling before shutting his eyes and drifting off into sleep, but it wasn't going to be a peaceful sleep or evening.