With You

26

Hayden's POV

"Hayden, I'm sorry, please let me in." Blair called from the other side of the bathroom door. I sighed and shook my head. "Hayden, please, it isn't what you think." I looked at myself in the mirror and ran a hand through my hair. Was I right when I asked her to be my fiancé? I don't know why I did it, we're only eighteen. We haven't even been together for a year. "I love you Hayden, I would never purposely hurt you." Man, I loved her with everything in me.

Is this what it was like that time I told her to leave? Wanting to run to her and forgive her automatically?

I closed my eyes and tried to think.

"Hayden... I messed up, I'm not embarrassed of you, I promise."

Blair and I went to dinner with her grandparents and a few more of her family members. Her mother mentioned that Blair and I were engaged. Afterwards,her grandmother had pulled her to the side afterwards and I happened to hear it.

"You're only eighteen dear, that's crazy talk." Her grandmother said, turning her nose up at Blair. "Besides, I thought you liked men."

"I mean, it isn't official Nana. It's just so when she goes off to the Air Force-"

"It is official, you're wearing the ring, aren't you?"

"Well yeah, because she gave it to me." I frowned. She's only wearing it to make me feel better?

"That's the problem right there, she. Oh honey you could definitely find a real man that'll be better for you." Blair stayed quiet. "You're a beautiful girl and she just doesn't compliment you. You don't look like a dyke."

"But I love her." Blair spoke quietly.

"Nonsense, you can't be! Your mother raised you better than that. Now get in there and act the way you're supposed to." I went back to talk to her father, before they could see me.

For the rest of the gathering, Blair didn't really talk to me. In fact, she avoided me, only speaking to her mother and grandmother. I went outside to the back to catch some air.

"What the hell Hayden, why're you out here alone?" I laughed humorlessly.

"I heard it all Blair. You're embarrassed of me? Why're you even here then? Go back to your grandmother." Her mouth dropped, then she frowned.

"Don't be so dramatic Hayden. I told her I loved you." I scoffed and shook my head.

"Because that's all that matters right? Not that you hurt me. Not to mention you didn't even stand up for yourself, you just took it. And then you ignored me the whole time. Why even invite me if you weren't ready? How do you think that made me feel?" She frowned, reaching out for me but I stepped back.

"Hayden, I'm sorry. I didn't know you heard it."

"Yeah... and that's what makes it even worse. I'm glad I heard it, because now I know how you really feel about us." I walked away from her and she followed me.

I felt like crying. I took a deep breath and looked down at my finger. The ring shone, just yesterday it made me happy. Now, it has me in tears. I shook my head and took it off.

"Hayden, please!" I walked out of the bathroom and she stood there looking at me. She hugged me and I stood there, frozen. She pulled back and looked at me.