Currently a randomness book. I cuss a lot. This is technically a follow up to Welcome Fangirls (the cringe) but it's a lot more chill and random thoughts and mostly shitposts but hopefully we'll both have a good time.
(Swearing because I cuss a lot and it's late so screw censors)
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How fucking weird was the guy that smoked tobacco for the first time? "I'm going to put this plant in my mouth, then I'm going to light it on fire. It's gonna be fucking SICK MAN." "what the hell jason" "HOLY CRAP WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT I CAN HEAR COLORS" "Again, wHAT THE HELL JASON" "YOU DIDN'T STOP ME" "I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT" "TRY IT JASON" "WHAT THE FUCK MAN NO YOU JUST SAID YOU CAN HEAR COLORS WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD I DO THAT"
Follow up, how many other plants did they light on fire and stick in their mouth after this discovery? How many did they set on fire and stick in their mouth before this discovery? "What do you think would happen if I set a tomato plant on fire and put it in my mouth" "I think you'd become more crazy than you already are" "I'm gonna fuckin do it" *** "That didn't work" "Told you so" "I'm gonna try again, but with dandelions" "What the fucking hell Jason"
The invention of religion "Moooooooooommmmmmmmm I wanna go to the pond with Tiffany" "Well I say no" "But mooooommmmmm whhyyyyyyy" "Because I fucking said so, Susan" "But WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYY" "Because there's an angry man in the sky that made you and he'll set you on fire from the sky if you do" "What the FUCK REALLY" "UHM, YEAH SUSAN, SO YOU CAN'T GO" "I HAVE TO TELL TIFFANY, BYE MOM" "GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE SUSAN DID YOU NOT HEAR A WORD I JUST SAID OH MY FUCKING GOD" "WHO?" "THE ANGRY FUCKING SKY GUY HE'S GOD AND HE SAID NO" "Holy SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT"
What happened the first time human kind came across a goose "What is that thing" "It looks like a fuckin bird, dude" "Yeah, it looks mad" "You wanna fuck with it?" "Fuck yeah I want to fuck with it let's hit it with a stick" *five minutes later* "OH MY GOD MY LEG" "IS THIS BIRD BITING ME" "ITS GOT TEETH ON IT'S TOUNGE THIS WAS A REALLY BAD IDEA" "NO SHIT TOD" "YEAH TOD, WHAT THE FUCK TOD" "THIS WASN'T MY IDEA" "YEAH IT WAS" "IT'S STILL BITING ME" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" "MY FUCKIN LEG TOD WHAT THE HELL MAN" "WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME" "OH MY GOD THERE'S ANOTHER ONE" "HOLY SHIT" "MY F U C K I N G L E G T O D" "WHAT THE FUCK MAN" "FUCK YOU TOD" *Tod, sobbing* "WHAT THE FUCK GUYS BLAME BILL NOT ME THIS WAS HIS IDEA" *Bill, distantly, as he's dragged away by the other goose* "fuck you Tod"
This has gone on too long
Cinnamon, if you didn't know, is literally the inside of tree bark, so how did that go? "Guys, I ate the inside of a tree and it was intense" "Why did you eat the inside of a tree?" "What if we ground it up and put it on other food" "Are you high?" "Shut the fuck up John no one asked you" "Why did you put the tree in your mouth?" "Let's put it on toast!" "W h y" "It'll be RAD, just trust me, okay?" "No, you ate the inside of a tree" "But it was i n t e n s e work with me" "No" "Fuck you" "Fuck YOURSELF, Jerry" "I'm gonna eat this shit and it's gonna be fuckin fantastic so fuck you Ben"
That's all I've got for now. Feel free to add, I'll probably be back. It's late, enjoy my insane ramblings (I laughed way to hard writing these things) (don't blame me, blame tod, I'm tired)
