Matty Healy Imagines

I Hate Kids

Word Count: 4,303
Summary: Matty has a habit of saying "I hate kids". You don't believe it one bit.

"I hate kids."

The first time Matty tells you this, you do not believe him. Laying sprawled out beside you on his bed with a bottle of shared wine in one hand and your hair in the other, he looks far from serious. A serious man would not clutch wine so close, or grow so fascinated with playing with your hair at two in the morning. You stared into his eyes and giggled, lighthearted and whimsical.

"Sure you do, Matty."

"I'm serious," he repeats, but it does little to convince you. "They're loads more trouble than they're worth."

You smile and shove at his shoulder. "You were a kid once, silly."

"And I was shit."

"I'm sure you weren't shit."

Matty snorts, and you can feel his laughter shake the bed slightly. "Cause every eighteen year old,

not-shit saint of a child is hooked on coke and dropping out of school to be in a band."

"Matty."

"I'm only saying."

"Well," you say, reaching over to ruffle up his curls, "I'm only saying that I think you've got kids

pinned all wrong. I've seen pictures of you as a kid, and you looked adorable. And, I've heard you say in interviews before that you guys never went out and looked for trouble as kids and teens, so don't start painting yourself as a big bad boy to prove your point, Healy. I'll call that bluff any day."

Matty rolls his eyes and sits up to bring the wine bottle to his lips. "Even if I might not have been bad, kids are still too much. I still hate 'em."

Smirking, you pull the bottle away from his mouth before he can take a sip. "Whatever you say, Matty."

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The second time Matty tells you he hates kids, you are with him at a wedding. Your cousin finally is getting married after dating a guy for years, and in return for putting up with her seemingly eternal engagement, she graciously extended you and Matty an invitation. Matty was happy to attend it with you, but he did not expect to see all of the younger children, children of your other cousins and friends, attending as well. Along with that, he certainly did not expect to become the favorite of one of them - a four year old bright blonde-haired girl belonging to your cousin's friend named Kylie.

While you sit at your assigned table drinking and chatting with relatives, Matty sits in the corner of the ballroom in the reception on the floor, with the little girl teaching him very diligently how to play patty-cake, because apparently Matty is far too uneducated on the subject for her liking and it is pertinent that he be taught right before the night grows too old. You can see out of the corner of your eye the little girl instructing him, and it's a sight that would be comical even if you were not growing tipsy off your drinks. She is so dedicated, guiding his hands and tugging on his suit sleeve when his eyes are anywhere but on her. It warms your heart to watch. Matty looks miserable, but you can tell he's amused by the little girl. He would not be sitting there allowing her to play games with him if he was not.

You wait until there is a pause in your conversation with your relatives before excusing yourself to go over to Matty. By this point, Kylie is tugging at his hair, going on telling him about her favorite animals. You can't help but smile as you approach the pair.