Matty Healy Imagines

Begin Again

Word Count: 2,798
Summary: After breaking up with Matty and leaving without an explanation, the two of you meet again at a bar.

You kicked him out on a Tuesday night.

After a nice Chinese takeout dinner and some television was when you turned to him. Beautiful eyes, eyes Matty could get lost in for ages. Eyes he had written about and planned to sing to any who would listen off of his next album. They stared him down, unsure but knowing it was now or never. You waited until a commercial, when his mind was less distracted, to say you wanted out. At first, he thought you meant out of the cuddled position you two sat in, because why would you say out of the relationship so suddenly like that when all was well, or seemingly so? He laughed and let you free, but shrunk back at the sight of those eyes, those beautiful eyes, filling with such sadness and conflict.

Silence held the room. Program forgotten, Matty turned to you and beckoned with his own eyes to hear what was wrong, to tell you to stop what was happening and let things be discussed. However, you had other plans. Standing up, avoiding his hand that reached so desperately for yours, you mumbled through frightened tears for him to get out. He did not understand, and rightfully so. No explanation carried on why you were wishing this. Before this, you had been madly in love. The other night, you had spent hours with Matty in bed, tracing circles on his skin, sharing words of adoration with him that he returned with gentle kisses pressed tenderly to your lips. To the rest of the world, you were happily and irrevocably in love. For you to wish for it's end so abrupt and cold like this? It seemed almost foolish.

Yet, you held firm. You told him again, voice wavering yet persistent, telling him to leave. Matty's face fell as his heart tore into hundreds of pieces as the thought of losing you set in. As he got up, he hoped, even prayed that this would only be temporary, that you would call him later that night and apologize for being so confusing. It only made sense in his scrambled mind that you would not say goodbye so quickly and without explanation. You were always so extravagant with your words about him, why wouldn't you be when saying goodbye? It couldn't be goodbye. Not like this.

Even though his heart refused to go, his mind knew it was only right for him to listen to you. He did not wish to start a war. He did not want to truly give you a reason to kick him out by turning away her request for him to leave. So, he got up, grabbed what he could see that was his on his way out, and walked out through the door onto the chilly London street you lived on. It took about three blocks for the realization of what had happened to hit him. Four until that realization manifested itself in tears. Five until the sobs were so great he had to call George to pick him up.

When George did grab Matty off the side of the road, Matty was inconsolable. Ranting, raving, begging George to tell him one thing that he did wrong that could have led to this outcome. The thing was, George could not find one. As far as he was concerned, Matty's relationship with you had been the best one the boy had ever been in. It was equal, and so full of genuine love. He treated you well, and you made him feel like life could not get any better. He had even mentioned to the others when Matty wasn't around that you probably were going to be the one who got Matty to settle down and get married one day. This breakup, as sudden as it was for Matty, stunned George. All he could do to make Matty feel better was provide shelter and some weed when they made it back to his flat. That's all he knew to do when he was so clueless about your mindset.

Three days passed before anyone heard from you. You did not dare call Matty, choosing instead to phone Jamie. You felt he was familiar yet detached enough from the situation to be civil on the phone, and he was, or at least he was good at hiding that he was on the other line. Plans were made for Jamie to come pick up Matty's things from your house. You would have chosen one of the boys, but you could not stand to see them again. They did nothing wrong themselves, but you knew their faces would show hurt on them, because you knew they loved Matty like a brother. When he hurt, they hurt. You did not want to see that hurt firsthand. Thinking about it was hard enough. Jamie showed up later on that day, and with your help, Matty's items were gathered out of your house and into his car. It took two hours to strip every trace of Matty from your world. Such a small amount of time for such a big part of your life to appear to be erased. As soon as he left, you looked around and visibly saw your world as emptier. His shirts no longer dirtied your floor. His music no longer cluttered in piles on your countertops. There was more space in the bathroom for your makeup. He was gone. He was no longer there.