My story

4/3/14

Welcome back whoever decides to read this.

Well. Today was very eventful, too eventful.

First at school, was fine.

When I get home I go to my friends house. Her mom was talking to me and her and eventually got onto the topic of depression.

She makes... Abby, (fake name of course) give her a dollar every time she says something depressing/pessimistic/etc,and thinks that just because Abby isn't saying these things she is happy. I told her that's a sign she's bottling up her emotions (I fucking know she does) and is pushing her closer to oblivion.

Well, come home from that to parent teacher conferences. I have an E (equivalent to failing, F means you're failing and withdrawn) my mom was a bit mad for like five minutes, then was fine.

I got good reports from all of my teachers, even the teacher from the class I'm failing, and am joining Danklin Middle School (another faked name) track team. Yay. Hopefully no one sees my scars. Woops, being pessimistic again.

I'm getting help in math now.

Well. Now. Is. The. Time. All. Hell. Breaks. Loose.

My dad got PISSED THE FUCK OFF when I showed him, and retreated to the basement. Later, after him and my mom fought, he left the house and went driving for like an hour.

I don't think I talked about this family member in enough detail for you guys to understand me feeling towards her.

My moms mom. My abuelo. My grandma.

Ok. Ok. Your all now on the edge of your seat, right? No. Ok. I'm still going to say though.

When I was around 8-9 my grandma walked into my house as I was sitting on the couch, yells words I don't remember at my mom, who was washing dishes, walked over to me, puts her hands on my cheeks, and says. "This is between your mom and I, I love you, and I'm never going to see you again." Sadly. That last part was a lie.

My grandma probably has schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and tons of other shit.

The people that live in the connected part of the house behind her took her keys somehow magically, and threatened to steal her car I guess. So she needed to park it on front of our house.

She did. She saw me, even though I was hiding, when I peeked my head out from my spot, in the hall, and had no clew who I was. Throwback to like 4-5 years ago (did I just do the throwback thing?).

Now I'm in bed. Typing this. Thinking how easily I could go get my razors and make myself happy. Or kill myself. Horizontal cuts could kill me, right?

I just want to die so. Fucking. Badly. Right now.

I'm also hearing things and its irritating me.

As always. Have a great today.

MY PM BOX IS ALWAYS OPEN SO IS ANON ON TUMBLR.

Stand

4 the

Silent

SPEAK UP!

<3