My story

1/9/15

I'm very excited. My friend Oliver came out recently. He is very excited and happy. He wrote me this before he was out.

There's a certain skin crawling feeling when I see my given name written for everything or when someone calls me miss (or a variant of that). The feeling is heavy but makes me feel like I'm not in my own skin, as if someone gets to peel me away from myself and they don't even know it. When I do find the courage to tell someone I'm trans all I get is questions and harsh comment on why I "should just be a girl, it'll be easier" but they truly do not understand the daily pain and tears. Sometimes death can feel like my only escape but I'm smarter and stronger than that, I refuse to die at my own hands just because some worthless trash can't handle my name and pronoun change. My body is only a faulty capsule that has the wrong parts, it means nothing to me so I will do as I please and no one can stop me. This is only the thoughts of a closest transgender/gender fluid person, could you image the thoughts of the trans* people that are abused every day, they are my heroes and deserve a safe environment to life that they may never have. I'm so happy that Oliver has his friends to support him in a world that may not always do so.

As a panromantic and asexual young person I don't think I will eve be able to understand why humans think we are not humans, we both have heads, hearts, and feeling that can be destroyed with a single blow. I can say one of the things I feel lucky to have in this world are a group of friends that will stand up for me, and tell me they love me even when I want to jump off a bridge. Thanks for that. I don't think my family will accept me if I come out to them, they are Christians that attend church every Sunday and my grandmother once told me she didn't want my aunts to get married because of God. I then just said screw it and now I live by my own morals and standards.