Let Down (Being Heavily Edited)

chapter eight

Sometimes you have to let it go, you will feel so much better.

--Tasia Logoff

Aanvi Zenobia

Sitting up abruptly, I panicked looking around. It felt like I couldn't breathe, I grabbed my chest trying to calm myself down. The nightmare I just had bought up so many unwanted memories, I felt myself dropping tears as I calmed down.

I sighed grabbing my phone hearing Zeph snores through our FaceTime call. I went to call his name but stopped deciding to let him sleep, although I knew he would of made me feel a lot better right now.

Going down the stairs, I saw that the kitchen light was on. I peeped around the corner seeing my mom pop some pills, I shook my head and walked further in the kitchen. She looked up kinda embarrassed, I simply ignored her and walked to the fridge.

I don't know why I expected more from her, people like her will never change.

"I bought green tea, do you still like those?" She asked.

"Yeah." I stated blankly then grabbed a bottle from the fridge looking for something to snack on.

"I remember when you were just three years old in love with them, every time you cried I would give you one and you would be the happiest baby in the world."

"You mean you would give me one after that man whooped my ass for doing shit I couldn't control."

"Aanvi."

"Don't call me that."

"I can't tell you how much I love you or apologize but I'm trying Zenobia, don't I get credit for that?"

"Credit? You want credit cause ya crackhead ass- you know what, nevermind. You aren't waste the words, energy or time."

"What do I have to do for you to forgive me?" She whispered.

"You really wanna know?" I smiled, getting a little closer to her as her eyes lit up in joy.

"Yes, I want you to love me like I am your mom. Just tell me what I have to do to earn ya forgiveness."

"Die." I spat coldheartedly walking out the kitchen leaving her there.

I heard her sob as I made it to the stairs, it's too bad the man she loved wasn't here to hear that. Maybe she would of finally felt what I felt getting beat on like I was a punching bag for crying.

I walked back into my room closing and locking my door to make sure she wouldn't come in my room. I laid back down as memories flooded my head, every time I closed my eyes I felt every punch, smack, kick, or the object he would hit me with.

Looking at the time it was only one o clock in the morning making me sigh, I had to be up by seven and I knew I just wasn't going to sleep sleeping alone. Texting Sef since he's always up at this time, I wondered would he come get me.

Instead of texting back, he called. I answered putting it on speaker as I picked out my school clothes.

"Wassgood lady Mitch?" He asked all loud making me laugh.

"Why you so damn loud? And what you doing?"

"I'm ina car rolling up, bouta go to this 24 hour Chinese store."

"Oou, can you come get me?"

"Nah, you school ina morning lil sis."

"And I'm still going but right now, I really need to get out my thoughts."