Never Shout Never!

Flower Child

"So.. he is just a friend, right?" I rolled my eyes at Christofer and smiled.

"Yes. You got nothing to worry about, trust me." I said grinning into his shoulder. I loved the way he always smelled. Kind of like pot mixed with the outdoors. I think I fell in love with the weirdest kid. Due to me being "sick" today, I skipped out on school and Chris decided to do the same and come over my house. I think this is the only good thing about mom getting her job. I had a free crib. Ever since last night I've been feeling my old self come back again. I threw away almost every sharp object I had in my room and I know for a fact that I am officially done with this.. self mutilation. The only important people who still have yet to find out is Chris. I told Chaz last night after I drove to her house and cried with her for almost two hours. Lance let me leave early so it wasn't that late when I finally got home. I definitely planned on telling him tonight though. I don't think I could wait any longer.

"But how is it?" He asked looking at me. We were laying in bed in silence, the only sound was coming from my speaker next to the bed.

"It's actually great. I mean, you should definitely perform there one day. In fact, I should bring you there one day. I think you'll like it."

"Maybe one day. Anyways, what are you doing tonight?" Good. Now I didn't even have to make a plan for me to tell him tonight.

"Absolutely nothing."

"Wanna go somewhere? To that vegan restaurant and watch a movie at my house? I have to go to the studio later, but after that I'll hang out with you." I think that watching paint dry would make me happy. Anything that involves him, I'm in for it. My phone rang on the nightstand next to me and I picked it without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey Nick, I just wanted to see if you were alright." Mom. Ugh. I exhaled quietly.

"Yeah mom I'm fine."

"So that means you're going to school today?"

"No. That means that I'm going to sit in my bed and rest to be on the safe side." I said a matter of factly.

"You know, something tells me you're lying. But just this once I'll let it slide. After that, no more!" I made sure to thank her as I hung up and looked at Christofer. He is the best thing since sliced bread, and I honestly like him too much to let him go. Which is why I was gonna tell him. It's now or never.

"Hey Chris?" He looked up from his phone and nodded.

"I can tell you anything right?" He gave me a 'duh' look.

"Of course. Why? Is there something on your mind?"

"Everything. Chris.. when I tell you this, you have to promise you won't get mad that I didn't tell you sooner." I said seriously. By now, I captured his attention because he sat upright in my bed and took both of my hands into his.

"Nicholas.. what do you have to tell me?"

"Remember that night we got tattoos and I told you to wait for me outside? When I went inside, I saw something that I didn't want to see. Chris.. my dad hit my mom. And from what I found out, it's not the first time either. My mom told me not to tell anyone, not even you or Chaz. I just couldn't handle the pressure and anxiety of the situation. So I dealt with it the best way I knew how.."

I wish I hadn't told him. If I didn't tell him, he would still be lying across my bed while we talked and played music. He would be making eye contact with me and not nodding at everything I say when I know he isn't even listening. My confession was only an hour ago, but to me it seemed like ages since Chris has been sitting up with a distant look on his face the whole time. I stopped what I was saying at the moment and looked at him.