A Reason to Live (Jensen Ackles)

Chapter 9

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Warning: Self Harm

I was in the living room. My mom was at the computer and my brother was watching TV. My sister was back in her room playing on her PlayStation 2. 

There was a knock on the door and my mom got up to answer it. There was a man standing on the porch, dressed in all black and his face was covered by a black mask. Before my mom could shut the door and lock it, the man pushed in and shut the door behind him. In his hand was a pistol and before I knew what was happening my mom was laying on the floor blood rushing out of her body. 

My brother jumped off of the couch when he heard the gunshot. He tried to get the gun out of the man's hands. Meanwhile, I was screaming, but no one could hear me or see me. That's right, I wasn't there when this happened. The gun went off again and my brother was now laying on the ground a couple of feet from my mother. 

The man went searching through the house and my body unwilling followed him. He eventually came to my sister's room, but the door was locked. She had heard the gunshots and locked the door. The man continually hit the door with his shoulder and then it splintered open. My sister was on the phone, probably calling the police. Before she could even scream the trigger was pulled for the last time and my sister was gone too. 

I screamed and immediately shot up. 

My entire body was shaking and tears were already rolling down my face. I had already been crying in my sleep. 

I sat on the bed sobbing for a few minutes, before standing and walking into the bathroom. I grabbed the blade from the counter where I had left it and sat on the floor. I ran the blade against my wrist once again. 

Once. 

Twice. 

Three times. 

But the pain wouldn't go away. It was still there. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. 

"Bella?" 

It was Jensen. 

My cries immediately turned silent. I hoped that he couldn't hear me, that he thought I was asleep. The door opened and I accidentally let out a sob. I heard the door close and footsteps walked towards the bathroom door. He was coming. I hid my face in my knees. I didn't want him to see me like this. 

As he opened the door, I heard him freeze. 

"Oh no..." 

My sobs got louder as I thought about how disappointed he must be. 

He rushed over to me and gently took the knife from me. I gave it up without a fight. 

Once the blade was taken away, he wrapped his arms around me tightly and moved me so I was sitting on his lap. He was careful of my wrist and the blood, but he hugged me with all of the strength in his body. He rocked me back and forth as he rubbed my back. I cried into his chest and his other hand came up to run through my hair. 

"I-I shouldn't be here! I should be dead! I should've died right beside them! I don't deserve this! I-" 

"No! Bella, please don't talk like that! You're here for a reason. I need you. Danneel needs you. Justice needs you. She already loves you. I love you. Danneel loves you. Please." 

I felt something drip on me and I looked up to see him crying as well. Seeing him like that made my tears slow to a stop. I reached up and wiped his tears away. 

"P-please don't cry. P-please..." 

He placed me back on the floor and stood up. He picked me up gently and I laid my head on his chest. He carried to my bed a sat me on the edge. Going to the bathroom he came back with a towel soaked in water. 

Sitting on the bed next to me, he began to wipe the blood off of my wrist, making sure that the cuts had stopped bleeding. I stared at my wrist as he cleaned them. Before I had even realized it, I was crying again. The tears were falling onto my arm and Jensen looked up me when he was done. He threw the towel off to the side and pulled me into his arms again.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" 

"No, shhh. Sweetheart, you don't have to apologize. Please, just, don't do it again. From now on, I want you to come to me if you feel the need to do it again. If I'm not here, you can call me or talk to Danneel. Just, don't do it again. Okay?" 

I nodded furiously against his chest and tried to calm down. I copied his breathing and eventually my crying stopped. 

I stayed in Jensen's arms a little longer enjoying the warmth and protection they provided and soon enough I felt myself falling asleep. I was lifted into the air once more, before being placed on the bed, my head on the pillow. Jensen pulled the covers over me. My eyes were halfway closed and when he leaned back, they opened fully. 

"Thank you, D-dad?" 

He chuckled slightly, probably noticing the question mark at the end. He leaned back down and kissed my forehead. 

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Get some sleep." 

With that, he walked out, closing the door lightly behind him, and probably heading back to his room to get some sleep.

To Be Continued...

A/N- Thanks for reading!!!! I hope you liked it! And if you did, maybe you could check out some of my other stories? Don't forget to vote and comment!!!!!!! Let me know what you think!!!!