Cashed » Lip Gallagher [2]

»part 17 » fuck forgiveness

"i'm scared to live but i'm scared to die..."

-

Everyone's addicted to something.

Shopping, lying, sex, drinking, cutting.

Drugs.

The list can go on and on if you really think about it. Everyone's addicted to something and not just because they're weak. They're addicted to these things because it makes them feel something. Whether it be anger or happiness, it makes them feel something that they believe is genuine. It helps them focus on something besides the negative shit in their lives. So, yeah, they might be weak and sad, but you know what?

They're real.

Their struggle is real. Their cry for help is real. Their feelings are real. Even if they are doped up out of their minds, that's when they are truly exposed.

So, if you really think about, these 'addicts' aren't weak at all. In fact, they're kind of brave in a way.

They're not afraid to spiral into their downfall. They aren't afraid to hurt the ones they love. They aren't afraid to disappear.

They're brave because they have the courage to venture to a place that others fear.

They're brave because they have the strength to take themselves to a place where they're most vulnerable.

Where they face their demons.

They're strong.

But what do I know?

Who can really believe an addict?

After all, I might be the worst of them all.

I've been stuck in this rehab facility for the past four months. Okay, maybe 'stuck' isn't the correct word. I've been in this rehab facility for the past four months by choice. After the accident, I couldn't stand to look at myself anymore. The skin I was living in was uncomfortable and raw. Everything about it was ugly and unnatural. The hospital told me that a thirty-day program would be best for me but after a long talk with Fiona, I decided to stay a little longer.

I knew that if Fiona didn't force to me stick with my decision, I would fall back into my ways. She drove me here after the hospital and stayed until they forced her to live. She calls me every chance she gets and writes when she can.

She's been the only person who's visited me in this shit hole.

Yeah, you heard it right.

The only one.

But right now, I have bigger issues to worry about in my life right now, because I'm leaving,

Moving on is a part of growth, right?