July 23, 2017 12:00am

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I have no wifi because it's turned off but she doesn't know that the reason I'm up so late is because I can't sleep. Not because of the wifi being on or me being on the phone

No, I stay up late because my thoughts consume my brain, they keep me awake and try to make me hurt myself

Melatonin helped the thoughts stop and I could sleep peacefully. Some nights I thought things. A thought kept me from taking it for a while though

'take more than what you're was supposed to when no one is around, that way you can sleep longer' is the thought that scared me the most. I knew that if I took one too many, I possibly would never wake up

I am suicidal but I'm afraid of death...strange right? Death scares me but I sometimes think that hurting myself physically would help stop my emotional pain

I should sleep but I can't. I'll try to force myself but I don't know if it'll work...goodnight I guess😔

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