EMBROIL [BOOK ONE]

Title 20: Yes

~Published July 20, 2017~

The world was slowly falling even more apart. All my friends were falling into a deep hole one by one. Looking over at Danny who was sitting on her purple recliner by her apartment door with her knees up to her chin. There was a police officer asking the standard investigation questions. Mickey was in the kitchen where a paramedic was bandaging up his bruised knuckles. We haven't been able to make eye contact throughout the whole process. I was currently sitting by the kitchen island on a stool with my knee bobbing up and down. Derek who turned out escaped from prison was already handcuffed and taken away. Mickey really knocked him out cold since Derek has been out for over an hour. 

"Excuse me ma'am." A female paramedic brought me out into reality. 

I wiped a few tears that were still sitting at the corners of my eyes, "Um yeah?"

She placed a small dufflebag onto the counter besides me as she gave my shoulder a small squeeze, "Are you hurt?"

I looked down at my body to check but I knew that I wasn't physically hurt, it was emotionally, "I'm fine. The one who you should be making sure is all right, is her." I pointed over at Danny who was jumping at every little noise.

The lady glanced over to where I was pointing and nodded. She picked the bag up once more and made her way towards Danny. I noticed Mickey standing besides Danny while whispering something in her ear. Danny gave a small nod and pulled him down towards her while giving him a tight hug. Mickey soon walked out of the apartment and before I could progress my movements I found myself in the hallway gripping his hand. 

He snatched his hand from mine while turning his body to face mine, "What?! What do you want?"

I jumped by the sudden volume of his voice. Once I collected myself I spoke up, "You need to let me explain myself."

"Why? If I already know what you are going to stay?" He kept his hands clenched by his sides and you could see that he was biting the inside of his cheek. 

"You probably do but I want you to listen anyways." I dug my hands in my jean pockets and looked down at my shoes, "The reason I never was honest about my feelings for Ian was because I knew that Ian and I would never be anything more than friends. We were just two broken kids who could count on one another, to be a shoulder to cry on. But then I started to change, my feelings started to change, and I became madly in love with my best friend." I looked up at him to find him already cringing to my confession, "It has always been Ian and Jo. That was until Ian came out gay and then you came along. I never seen someone fallen so hard for another man. It was then that I knew I would never get want I wanted most. Ian is not in love with me. He is in love with you and I'm okay with that. All I want now is for the man that I love to be happy." I walked closer towards Mickey as I took his hands in mine, "Mickey you make Ian happy. That night when Ian and I slept together it wasn't me who he wanted, it was you. Don't let one mistake jeopardize everything." I felt myself trembling by the feeling of my heart breaking again, "I care so much about you Mickey. You have become a dear friend to me and I want nothing more but your happiness."

He kept his gaze firm and he didn't hold my hands back. He took a deep breath and you could still see hurt still lingering behind his eyes, "If you did really care than you wouldn't have opened your fucking legs to my boyfriend." He pushed my hands away and continued walking down the hall. 

I could feel anger brewing within my chest. It kept brewing until finally it over filled, "Why is it that when I screw up, that is all you need to completely cut me off but when Ian makes a million mistakes you are back at his feet in seconds." 

"I expect that from him!" He raised his voice as he stood his ground, "I never expected it from you!"

"Mickey I am human,  we make mistakes, I'm not perfect." The last few words came out in a hush whisper, "I just want you to know. Even if you want nothing to do with me... that I will always be there for you. I will never give up on you."