EMBROIL [BOOK ONE]

Title 9: Something's Off

~Published April 24, 2017~

My hands moved along the bed that I was laying on. The soft fabric felt nice on my finger tips. They kept going until they collide with something warm. Lifting my head up off the pillow that I was hugging, Lip was passed out beside me with his head on my shoulder, and his arm wrapped around my waist. My face fell back into the pillow and just kept it there. Images flashed by remembering last night. Once I had my mini breakdown. Lip walked me inside and we went straight to his room. I collapsed on his bed and he crawled in right behind me. We didn't say anything to each other. It's like we both knew that right now was not the time. All we needed was each other's company. The feeling of his warmth beside me was enough ease to fall asleep. I looked over at his sleeping figure and realized how much my friend has aged over the years. He was so grown and mature. I grabbed his wrist and unwrapped his arm from me. My plan was to go downstairs and make breakfast for the clan but stopped when I saw him stir. He shifted in the bed and his eyes slowly opened and settled on me.

He rubbed his eyes, "Good morning," He mumbled and noticed how close we were, "Sorry if I pulled a move on you in my sleep."

My eyes followed his movements as he got up and sat at the edge of the bed, "Morning and you're fine. No moves were made." I gave him a playful smile which he returned.

He stretched his arms up above him and turned his body half way to face me, "Do you want to talk about what upset you last night?"

Sitting up, I pulled myself at the top of his bed as I let out a sigh, "So much has happened in the time frame of us not talking. I don't know where to begin. Ian and I made up. You were right about two things. He admitted that he has feelings for me." I saw his eyes slightly bulge out of his head, "But you were also right about what you told me about that night. Ian is in love with Mickey and I should just let him be. Even if he has feelings for me. He is gay and he is in love with well not me. I don't know if I'm making any sense? I'm so confused about everything and I am sure it's not any easier for him." I couldn't give him all the details because there are some things between Ian and I that I would like to keep private. The memory of our almost kiss replayed in my mind. I could feel the warmth spread from my lips down to my toes.

He was studying me as I talked and he listened to every word, "Look I am sorry for what I said that night. It was just to much and I blew up. School has been a bitch and then I came home to finding both you and Fiona wasted. It just sent me over the edge. I am worried about you. Before that night when I got the call that you were shit faced. All I could think about was guys taking advantage of you. You weren't in your right mind. It brought back bad memories. You know?" He asked careful not to push the topic.

I did indeed remember. All those nights back when I was a prisoner in my own home. I would drink myself numb after one of my parent's customers finished with me. They would leave me on my bedroom floor, naked, broken, afraid. I would crawl over to my box of razors and would slice away the filth on my body. I tired to push the tears that threatened to spill over, "I know. I forgive you. I promise to cut back on my drinking." I reached for his hand on took it in my own, "You know I can't be without you right? Yeah half the time we can't stand each other but you are someone who is irreplaceable."

"I thought that was Ian?" He smirked.

I rolled my eyes playfully, "Look just accept the compliment."  

He laughed as he looked down at our hands. His other fingers traced the healing cut on my wrist as his face grew serious again, "Was it what I said that night that made you relapse?"

I shamefully pull my hand back as I covered it, "It was a number of things."

You could see him trying to read my body language, "Just don't do it again and if you ever get the urge...just call me." He suggested as he stood up, "I have to go and take a leak."