Saving Love: A raura fanfic

Chapter 20

Some say life is long and should be taken carefully. Others say life is short and should take risks at time to fully understand how life could turn out for you. For me, life comes at you fast and slow. Mistakes are made and can be undone. Yet it seems very hard to undo, if only you could go back in time and reverse the mistakes you made.

His breath is on my neck whispering and I finally open my eyes. He then proceeds to lightly kiss me and it sends electricity through my body. "Stop, please," I plead softly. My tears slowly start coming and he looks up to me. Our eyes meet and I hope he sees the pain that holds me back. The mistakes I have made that I wish were never made.

"Hey what's wrong?" He asks brushing my hair from my face which makes me fluttered. I don't want him to see me like this. I back away and sit on his bed.

The bar was a headache. Sam took me home and here we are. I feel mixed up with so many feelings because I don't want Sam to be into all this mess. The mess I helped create. "I'm sorry, I'm just stressed and confused. I don't want to play with your feelings if I'm like this," I look up to him.

He's surprisingly interested and not ignoring me. Which is the opposite reaction of what he'd usually do. I begin to say what's been bugging me since I woke up. "Can I tell you what's been on my mind, I need someone I can talk to."

He nods and carefully sits next to me making sure to give me space. He gently grabs my hand and says, "I'm here, so you can talk" I thankfully nod. I start hesitating because losing something to someone you barely knew is hard. "I guess I'm in shock,"

He looks at me confused. His eyebrow shifts and before he can say anything I say, " I didn't think I'd lose it to you," A slight disappointment emerges from his face. Not surprised really because others girls probably lost it to him too. Yet this wasn't special.

"I freaked out and after that I was so tired, I went to sleep." He nods waiting for me to continue. "I wake up like normal but I freak out, not knowing what happened the night before and I run off and cross the street to bam! Everything goes dark." I start shivering. "It felt so real Josh,"

He nods again, "I'm sorry Laura, I didn't mean for you to lose it. We were in the moment and..." he hesitates. "It's ok, I was in the moment too and didn't push you away, I'm at fault too." I say soon after. I don't want him to feel guilty for something I clearly wanted too at the moment.

"I just need time to sort out my life a little, so you won't hear about me for a while," I stand up and start walking out the door I look back at him and say, "I'm sorry too." I walk out the room and make my way to the front door of the apartment. I grab my things from the couch near the door and open it.

I feel bad but I can't deal with things at the moment. I'm running away from things I should be handling. Walking out the building feels so familiar from my dream. My phone vibrates and my gut is telling me to ignore Sam. I check it and see it's Ross.

I ignore it too. I guess I'm going to have to run from him too. I call the cab and wait for it to pick me up so I can arrive home and finally try to figure out things.

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Reaching home is satisfaction, I want to rest before ant decisions are made. I grab my key and quietly enter. Mom isn't home nor is Vanessa. I head to my room  and throw everything into my bed, including me. I sigh and turn to look up to see the ceiling. Just trying to clear my mind.

I'm going to start fresh, move on. I'm not going to continue living things I don't want. I'm going to leave Austin and Ally, figure out what I want to do final and if I can, live somewhere away from here. I guess it's decided and I feel sorry but eel a relief too. I close my eyes and let the afternoon reach it's darkness. Next morning I will drop the news.because I'm not looking for anyone's approval just their understanding .

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Authors note

Don DonI guess in a way I'm back. I just feel so motivated to see where this story will go. If it doesn't I think I'll sadly delete this story. I'm working on other works too. Just trying to figure out if I will finally quit this story.