I Love You Too Much to Let Go || ksj [COMPLETED]

Chapter 16

SeokJin's POV

I was trying to stay up, but my body couldnt take it. I gave in and fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already getting dark and the light-headed feeling lessened, but didnt completely disappear. "Oh, Jin Hyung is awake," Yoongi said as he tapped Hoseoks thigh, which was sleeping next to him on the couch. "..Huh..  What..?" Hoseok said sleepily as he rubbed his eyes. "Oh, Hyung, Youre awake..! Just a moment, Ill call the other members to let them know. They went out to buy you medicine." He then stepped out of the room, and Yoongi followed. I watched the door close, and for some reason, tears began to roll down my cheeks. I.. I suddenly feel so guilty. Even more so compared to the guilt I felt last night. I tried to make my cry soundless to keep Yoongi and Hoseok from noticing. Because... Because I'll admit, atleast once.. Atleast once, I had entertained the thought of leaving them. They make me feel so guilty for thinking that now that theyre working hard to watch after me. And remembering the times we had fun, it makes the pain in my chest even worse. I tried my best to stay quiet. But suddenly, they all walked into my room. "Hyung!" Jungkook and Taehyung ran to me while carrying plastics. "Hyung, why are you crying? What hurts??" Jimin said, concerned. I started crying harder when I saw them. "Are you okay?" Namjoon repeatedly asked me, Yoongi and Hoseok stood there confused before they finally also went in to ask, because just a moment ago they just saw me wake up, and now im crying-- No, sobbing, I was bawling my eyes out and they didnt know why, or when I started. I couldnt reply to any of their questions, so I just shook my head to everything they said.

Finally, when I was starting to calm down they gave me a cup of water and again, asked what was wrong. "Im sorry if i worried you, but I cant tell you why," I said. I tried my best to look just as sorry as I really am so theyd understand, because they waited for me to calm down so they could ask why. I could tell they wanted to continue asking. ".. Its okay, Hyung, maybe its something too personal to even tell us. We understand, we dont want to force you," Namjoon assuringly said as he put his hand on my shoulder. I nodded and continued drinking my water. Though I wasnt able to vent it all out truthfully, it feels good to have been able to cry. I promise myself Ill never think of something like that again.