Ethan's P.O.V
If this is how my life is gonna be, then I don't want it anymore. Everyone leaves me because they don't love me, no one does and no one ever will. That's why they leave me.
If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still shine, the moon would still come out and the sun would still rise so, why not?
Depression is like a war, you either win or die trying. It's like I'm trapped in this state of mind that I can't get out of and it's controlling me.
What's more deadly? A gun or a thought? The gun gives you the opportunity, the thought pulls the trigger.
"Are you ok?" He used to ask me. "Yeah, I'm just tired." Torn apart, insecure, really faking my smile, extremely sad, drowning in my own tears.
Fake smiles
Dead eyes
Scared wrist
Bruised thighs
White pills
Rope tied
Gun loaded
Suicide.
________
"Ethan are you ok?" He asks tapping my shoulder as we sit in class. I don't bother to look up at him. He'll just see my tears. "Y-yeah." I answer holding back my tears for just a spilt second. "Ok well I'm here if you need anything." I just nod and keep my hands covering my face as I attempt to hide my burning tears.
Even his sympathy won't save me now. I write on my wrist with a pen as that's all I focus on. Thoughts and thoughts run through my mind making me shake.
I'm done. This is it. Goodbye world. You did nothing good for me so thank you for nothing.
I stand up with my head still down and my hands still covering my face as I run out of the classroom not caring about the teacher or any of the students. It won't matter anyways, that's the last time I'll ever see them.
They check my wrist,
But not my thighs
They check my smile,
But not my eyes
They avoid the truth,
But they believe lies
Suicide.
________
Grayson's P.O.V
"Um can I use the bathroom?" I ask raising my hand really not trying to go to the bathroom. I'm really worried about Ethan and it's starting to bother me. I haven't really been close with him but we've talked and he's beautiful. I've always knew he's not really fine like he says he is but I never do anything about it.
She looked at me and rolls her eyes. Damn teachers have mad attitude. "Sure Grayson but it better be quick." Mrs. Truman says pointing a finger at me. "Yes ma'am." I say getting up from my seat and walk past all of the bored, careless students.
His cries cover his smile in my eyes. All I see is hurt and depression when I look at him. No happiness whatsoever.
"Bye mom. Bye dad. You never loved me. You were too busy coming home drunk and beating and mom to ever care. You never showed any love to our family. I won't miss you with anything I have in me. The only person that truly cared is Grayson. He asked me if I ok and knew when I was lying and I was lying every time I said I was fine. The look of worry on his face said it all. Leaving him without warning is hard. Extremely hard. But it's not like he'll notice. I love you Grayson. I truly love you and I thank you even though you can't hear me or have the slightest idea of what I'm about to do. Mom, I love you so much and I'm so proud of you for getting over your drug addiction. I love you with all my heart and I'll truly miss you as well. I love you Addie. Thank you for staying my best friend throughout the times of struggles and adversity. Bye fucked up world. I won't miss anything. Fuck you."
Tears roll down my cheeks as I hear Ethan's broken voice from inside the girls bathroom. He loves me.
I close my eyes for a few seconds until a scream interupts me. Ethan's scream.
I'm too late.
Blood outlining his throat and wrist in a huge crimson red pool of blood.
Dancing slowing
In an empty room
Dancing with a knife
So much regret and strife
He couldn't take it
Any longer
Hia dance ended
And so did his life
Suicide.
____________
I'M BOUTA WRITE A CUTE ASS BROTHERLY ONE SHOT AFTER THIS BC THIS IS DEPRESSING
