Dark Paradise

Chapter 16: Some People Can't Be Saved

It was my most recent stay in the hospital that had lead me to meeting her. I had tired to end my life once again but only yo me found by my sister Sam which they all say was pure luck, not that I believed it I just thought it was just more time staying in my personal hell. They had successfully pumped my stomach of the pills I had taken and got the bleeding from my wrists to stop but thing time that time they didn't release me. They kept me for 'physiological evaluation' cause you know normal people just don't try to kill themselves. I refused to talk at all which made things even more difficult for me but hey I'm just a difficult person. It was the second day that I had been in the 'physic word' aka where they keep the crazies and people like me, I wouldn't say people like me are crazy; we are just people that want to go home. The nurse that was my favorite came into my room and asked me how I was doing and after a few minutes of small talk she asked me if I wanted to get out of my room for a little bit, little did I know she was taking me over to the other girl in here that had tried to do the same thing. 

  "Jasmine this is Peyton, Peyton this is Jasmine" the nurse said as she helped me sit down in the chair opposite from the girl. 

  "Hi" I say breaking the silence that was now over us as the nurse walked away. 

 "Hi" She says giving me a small smile. 

 "What are you here both here for?" The  nurse says from the desk a few feet away. 

  "I tired to kill myself" I said shrugging my shoulders as if it was the most normal thing. 

  "Same, I guess" She says after a few seconds. 

  "Why?"  She asked looking back and fourth from the two of us. 

  "I didn't want to be here anymore" Jasmine said from next to me. 

  "Same, I guess"  I had said using the same line she has making her smile slightly. 

  "I think that you girls could benefit from being friends" She said as she went back to going to the work on her desk leaving Jasmine and I to talk. I knew that we would either benefit from being friends or we would the fact that the both of us no longer wanted to be alive to our advantages. 

*******

I walk into the coffee shop, the same coffee shop that Ashton and I had went to to be exact and look around for a second before I spot her. 

  "Peyton" She says smiling at me but it doesn't touch her eyes. 

  "Hi" I say smiling at her and even I know the smile doesn't touch my own eyes, but will she notice? Probably not, no one ever does. 

  "How have you been?" She asks as she hands me one of the two cups that are by her. 

  "Fine.. Good?" I say honestly not knowing how I have been because deep down I know I should be happy but I feel guilty being happy. 

You don't deserve to be happy Peyton, you never have and you never will. The only happiness you deserve is from when you drag the blade across your skin. 

 "How have you been Jasmine?" I ask her looking up from my drink I was nervously messing around with. 

 "I've been fine" She says and I know it's attempt to mask the fact that she isn't good which has probably worked on everyone else but not on me. 

 "You know I don't believe you" I say honestly as I watch her face slightly fall, her protective armor receiving a dent in it. 

 "Why not? Everyone else does" She says defensively. 

 "Well for one I am not everyone else, I know because I see past your attempt to make everyone think you're okay. Have you forgotten I am like you Jasmine?" I ask her.