Dark Paradise

Chapter 4: Numb

 Walking down the street I hear her car slow besides me but I ignore her and continue walking angrily in the direction of home. Home is a word far from what that place is, it is more of a lonely hell that I am trapped in. 

  "Peyton" My mom says as she keeps driving slowly next to me probably looking like a goddamn pedophile but I say nothing back. 

  "Peyton Grace do not ignore me I am your mother!" She says starting to get pissed off. 

  "Correction: You are my mother when it is fucking convenient for you" I say looking at her in the eyes. 

  "Whatever walk home for all I care. You have fifteen minutes and if you're not home by then I will fucking find you and drag you home by your hair" She tells me as she speeds off leaving me walking by myself again.

 She's coming off her high again. 

I grab my headphones from my pocket and plug them into my phone and click my playlist of all my favorite bands. I begin to blast Misery by The Maine 

I'll say this once again

You people you are my friends
The devil he can't come in
Tonight, that's right

Looking for misery 

But you found me
Lying naked on the floor
I was headed insane
The devil told me his name
But he's not welcome here
Anymore 

Tell me what do you see 
(What do you see)
When your looking at me
(When you look at me)
This sounds social responsibility 
Is killing me 
Inside, yeah 

The voice of John O'Callaghan fills my ears as I walk calming down, I focus on nothing more then the song and sooner than I wanted I see my apartment building. I pull out my headphones as the song changes to another while taking a deep breath and open the door finding my mom on the couch smoking. 

  "What the fuck was that back there" She says taking another drag while looking at me. 

  "What was what?" I ask her 

  "That boy Peyton" She says narrowing her eyes at me. 

   "He was just a friend okay?" I say knowing what is coming

  "Just a friend Peyton? Who wants to be friends with you? You have nothing going for yourself" she says putting out her cigarette. 

 "Says the women who is never home cause only god knows what the fuck you are doing with only god knows who. And I am the one who has nothing going for them right mom?!" I say as my breathing increases.

  "DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT PEYTON" She yells at me as she stands up. 

 "WE BOTH SURE AS HELL KNOW THAT WHATEVER YOU ARE FUCKING DOING IS NOT BRINGING MONEY CAUSE THERE IS HARDLY ANY FOOD AND WHO KNOWS WHEN THE LAST TIME YOU ACTUALLY PAID THE FUCKING RENT IS" I continue to yell at her making her face turn red 

 "I BET THE ONLY REASON WE HAVE YET TO BE KICKED OUT IS CAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING WITH THE OWNER" I yell as I watch her rise her hand and feel the burn across my face, not once but twice insuring  a mark is left. I stare at her as she looks at her hand like it has a mind of its own 

  "Sweetheart.." My mom says looking at me 

  "Do. Not. Call. Me. That." I say through clenched teeth. 

  "I didn't mean it Peyton. It's not me sweet pea" She says. I flinch at the mention of the name sweet pea knowing that's the name my dad used to call me during the nearly non existent sober visits I had with him.