Because He Loves Me

Chapter20

         I watch in horror as Zach pummels Isaac to the ground and begins swinging at him with no control. I've never seen Zach so angry before. He's always been so calm and collected. The only other time I've seen him get into contact with another person's face was that guy who was hitting on me that night at the party. And that was just a punch. But this time, Zach isn't stopping.

I yell at him to stop, but nothing. He doesn't stop. I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears and the anger boiling in his body. I beg and beg for him to stop, but he just gives me the cold shoulder and continues on.

What was Isaac thinking? I want to say he was just playing, that he was drunk. But he only drank one drink. He said he loved me, that he's always loved me. He had all this time to make a move, yet he waits to make one when I'm most vulnerable. I always knew he was a jerk, a player. But he was never like that with me until now. And, Zach. He saw everything. I'm such an idiot.

A mob of people hear the commotion and begin to circle around Zach and Isaac. Zach looks up at me for an instant, and I could see the pain and anger in his eyes, and I instantly hate myself. He then gets up and begins walking back to his car. I call for him but he quickens his pace. Damn him.

I reach for his hand and he tries to pull away, but I tighten my grip. He turns around to face me, but his eyes wont go on mine. My voice comes out hoarse as I say, "Zach, please. Just talk to me."

His eyes meet mine and they're cold. He snatches his hand from mine and glares at me. He growls, "Why? You did tell me to stay away. I should have just listened. But no like the idiot I am, I was dumb enough to think I could win you back. Now I want you to be the one to leave me alone."

Ouch. Okay I deserved that. My eyes sting as I take in his words. Zach turns around and begins to climb into his car but I stop him. " Zach, I love you. Please just hear me out."

Zach faces me once again and my eyes go to the tear that's rolling down his cheek. My heart aches for him as his voice cracks. " Hear you out? Nothing you say will fix this, fix us. You broke my heart even more Luz. You made me fall in love with you, and you became the most important person in my life. But I should have known better right? After all, everyone I love just leaves me." He takes in a deep breathe and sighs," My mom left, my brother left, and now you."

"I'm sorry okay? I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have. And I know that now. I-I'm just...." I begin to explain everything but Zach runs his hands through his hair and laughs. I stare at him, confused. Why the hell is he laughing?

Zach rubs his face with his hands and gives me a look that breaks my heart. "You're sorry? Are you serious? Luz.... You left like it was the easiest decision you've ever made. And that's what hurts the most. You say you love me, but I don't believe you. What is it? Why'd you leave?" More tears brim his eyes and he wipes them away.

Tears threaten to leave my own eyes as I stare at him with defeat. My lip quivers as I say," I left...." I take in a breath and continue, " I left, because I'm scared."

He gives me a look as if not believing me. He throws his hands up in exasperation, "Scared of what Luz?"

A tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I close my eyes for a second and open them back up. With a shaky voice I look up at him with sincere eyes and say, " I want to be with you Zach. I do. Gosh I love you so much but," I stop myself. I don't want to tell him. I don't.

He shakes his head and huffs out in annoyance, " But what? What is it? Just fucking tell me Luz. I'm tired of hearing from other people that you're hiding something from me." Great. He knows I'm hiding something. I have to tell him. Shit.

I look away from him and I begin to explain," Do you remember when I told you my best friend, Luke, died not so long ago?" When he nods his head, I continue. "Well he wasn't just my best friend. He-he was my boyfriend, and I was very much in love with him. And college was coming up and we were about to part ways. So like the idiot I am, I broke up with him. And he was driving to my house to fix things and we were on the phone, while he was driving. One minute he was telling me how much he loves me and the next I heard this big crash. And that was the last time I heard his voice."

I stop to take a deep breath and just like that tears began to come out like a tsunami. Zach reaches out to embrace me in a hug, and I wrap my arms around his neck. He gives me an assuring squeeze and in between my sobs I manage to say," And I'm just scared I'd lose you too. It'd kill me Zach. I just can't."

He pulls me closer to him and he gives me a kiss on my forehead. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. Zach grins, " I'm right here. You're never going to lose me. I promise you that."

I look up at him and he wipes the tears from my face with the back of his hand. I smile and give him a peck on his cheek," I love you."

Zach pulls me closer to him so that our noses touch. He flashes me that breathtaking smile of his and I nearly do a double take. " I love you too." And just like that, he presses his lips to mine, and everything disappears. I forget about everything and just focus on this moment.

Suddenly, it begins raining cats and dogs, and Zach pulls away. He stares up at the sky and laughs. He turns his attention back on mine and smiles. That smile alone could melt my heart. But when he smashes his lips and backs me up onto his car, I can feel the pieces to my broken heart piece themselves back together. Cliché I know, but nonetheless romantic.

Kissing Zach right now, I realize that I was wrong to stay away from him. I need him in my life. When I'm around him I can breath, like actually breath. Everything around me turns into color. With him, there's no such thing as black and white. With him there could never be a dull moment in my life.

I love him. And I don't just love him because of his looks. But because Zach is the type of guy to put everything above you. He's the type to pay to see a movie and just stare at you the whole time with desire and lust. He wants to know your ins and outs. He'll listen to you rant for hours and watch you with fascination as you flip someone off. He could tell you you're beautiful and you'll believe it for the first time.

Zach actually cares about what's inside. And he does the unexpected. He doesn't plan things, he just goes with the flow. And no matter how broken he truly is, he sets all of it aside to put me first. Zach doesn't pity himself, he doesn't see his self as a lost cause. Unlike me he didn't go all unhinged. And I think that's the main reason I fell in love with him.

He's my best friend, my headache, my love, my pain, my happiness, my wrong, my right, my everything. He's mine. Zach is the only other guy I dropped my guard down for. He is the one and only guy that helped me move on. But most importantly, he's the guy that fixed me and helped me find my way once again.

       I pull away and when my eyes meet his, I flash him a toothy grin. He pulls me into a hug and I melt into his embrace. Zach kisses me on the top of my head and pulls back. He then walks backwards and I furrow my brow. He shrugs and walks right into me.

I open my mouth to ask him what in the hell he's doing but he beats me to it, "Hey. I'm Zach. Zachary Taylor. And you are?''

I stifle a laugh, and try to keep a straight face. I hold out my hand for him to shake and say, "Luz. Luciana Dominguez."