D'Anthony Carlos has skated through life always being protected. When you're related to the biggest drug cartel in the DMV you gotta be protected. When all of your uncles are the most feared and respected you automatically garner the same attention...
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In the story 'Sonny's Blues' one of the characters said something that stuck with me...he said, "I wish I could be like Mama & say the Lord's will be done, but I don't know it seems to me that trouble is the one thing that never does get stopped & I don't know what good it does to blame it on the the Lord. But maybe it does some good if you believe it." I think that's self-explanatory. I messed up and I have no one to blame, but myself. -Z.D.
I post the update to my blog sitting my phone on the table. It's Christmas day and after going to church as a family, we came back to my Aunt Rama's house to eat. I hadn't stepped foot in a church in my entire life. Maybe a mosque, but even then that was a long time ago. I couldn't explain how I felt after church. I was still trying to process it. Maybe religion is what I need in my life right now.
I honestly wasn't in the holiday spirit. I was just ready to exchange gifts then be on my way, so I can be by myself. When I turn looking around the full, busy room I spot my sisters all talking to each other with the exception of my little sister, Zina. She's 12, so she's probably with kids her age. The rest of my sisters were in high school with the exception of Ziya.
Speaking of Ziya, she was the only one unwilling to wear African traditional dress. Sometimes I wonder if she's ashamed to be African... She'll never wear traditional dress and she never speaks Wolof anymore to point she barely knows it. She rather speak English or French. She'll make excuses on why she can't speak to my mother in Arabic. It's sad actually that she has assimilated to American culture so much that she can't be proud of where she's originally from.
When 4 of my 6 sisters make there way towards me, I look at them suspiciously. There's Adiva who's 17 and a senior in high school. She was my mini me. Then there's Zemira and Sapphira who are 16 and twins. They're so different in looks and personality you would never even know they're twins. Then there's Safiya who's 14 and a freshman in high school. All of them were my babies. I had to grow up fast as hell in order to take care of them. You would've thought they came from my cooch all that I had to do for them.
