D'Anthony Carlos has skated through life always being protected. When you're related to the biggest drug cartel in the DMV you gotta be protected. When all of your uncles are the most feared and respected you automatically garner the same attention...
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After slipping into my Jordan Cement 3's I grab my keys and wallet making sure I have my I.D. before putting them in my purse. I make sure all of the lights in my apartment are turned off then leave locking the door behind me. Between school, work, and all the extra-curricular activities I haven't had time to myself to just have some fun and go out. Tonight I planned on going out to a party thrown by a college friend with Nubia.
I hadn't been to a party since the night everyone's life changed. Honestly, people were even scared to throw parties the following weeks after that night. If people had a party or event planned they postponed it or cancelled it altogether. Nobody wanted to end up shot or dead.
I get in my Honda Accord driving to Nubia's apartment building to pick her up. I blast Tunnel Vision by Kodak Black making the few minute drive. The song had barely been out two weeks, but it was on repeat. Some people may not like him, but he has some good songs. I pull up in front of her building pausing my music to dial her number. When she answers I say, "I'm outside." She says okay then hangs up. While I wait for her to come out I pull the visor down to look at myself in the mirror.
Despite a face full of makeup there was no hiding the heavy bags under my eyes. As much as I wanted to admit I was okay and everything was back to normal, I couldn't. I was deeply hurt and my spirit was crushed. It was like a piece of me had been taken and I couldn't function without it. It's been nearly a month since Markel was killed. I tried not to dwell on it, but I couldn't shake my true feelings.
There was just something so unsettling that made me feel unsafe. I didn't know if it was because the cop who killed him was let out on a nearly $2 million bond and would be free until the first court date months down the road. I was one of the people who would be testifying, so I worried about my safety. I didn't know if it was because I felt my sense of protection had been taken from me. I didn't know if for the first time in the 20 years of my life I realized how low on the totem pole Black people really are.
