Nicotine: the sequel to 'The Ballad Of Brallon'

He cheated

*trigger warning self harm and suicide don't read if you think you'll get triggered please and also don't watch the video*

Brendons pov: 

I wake up early this morning to take a piss. When I went to lay back down in bed I notice Dallons phone buzzing. I know snooping is wrong but I had to know who was texting Dallon this early in the morning. I pick up Dallons phone that reads new text message from:

Spence: hey thanks for yesterday Dal I know you're not ready to end things with Brendon but if and when you do I'd be happy to get together with you again. 😉😉

My heart just broke. When did Dallon see Spencer yesterday? Does he really want to break up with me? Why does Dallon call him Spence? I'm going to have an anxiety attack if I don't get these questions answered.

I run back to the bathroom grab my ADHD meds poor a couple tablets in my hand and take them. When I go to but the pill bottle away I spot my razor. What's one little cut I ask myself. I start the bathtub. I break my razor and grab the blade I hope in the bathtub once it's done running.

No wonder he's been so distant lately. I start to cry. How could Dallon do this to me. He probably hates me. I try everything in my power to keep him happy and he sneaks off with his ex. My chest hurts. It's as though I can literally feel my heart breaking. I start to hyperventilate. 

I'm worthless, useless, no one will ever love me. How did I think Dallon could love me. I think back to all the kids who bullied me in school because I was gay. I thought with fame everyone will want to be with me. But, oh was I wrong.

I take the blade push it down onto my wrist and slide it across. I'm crying so hard I just want this all to be over. The pain of Dallons rejection hurts. It's killing me alive. I make another cut and another cut. I watch as the warm crimson red blood falls into the water. The blood in the water resembles the look of smoke but it's red. 

The more I cut the more tears fall from my eyes. Dallon knocks on the door asking me what's wrong. I don't answer him. I continue to cut myself. Dallon starts to get worried and pounds on the door and yells at me to open it. I'm so mesmerized watching as the blood drains from my arm, the deeper and deeper my cuts get. My tears blur my vision.

I wish I was dead. Dallons screaming at me and trying to bust open the door. I here Zack's voice also, "Come on Brendon you don't want to do this. Your tour starts next week and your wedding is in a month." 

He doesn't get it he can't feel my pain. He can't feel the rejection I have growing inside myself. Tears stream from my eyes and this next cut I don't even care about anymore I slash it through my arm. I can see the bone. My blood starts to fill up the entire bathtub, turning the water completely red. I get really dizzy and light headed as I slowly start drifting away.

I'm completely I golfed in the bloody water. Blood still flowing from my arm I don't have the energy in my body to sit up for air. Instead I close my eyes as everything fades to black.

Dallons pov: 

I wake up and Brendon's not in bed. I here crying coming from the bathroom. I ask Brendon to open the door but he just keeps on crying. I text Zack to get over here I think Brendons hurting himself. 

I pound on the door yelling at Brendon to open up. Nothing happens he just keeps crying. I try to break the door open but it's not working. When Zack gets here he tries to calm Brendon down and get him to open the door. We think it works for a second because Brendon stops crying. We start to Panic! when he doesn't open the door.

Zack calls the police saying that Brendon was trying to kill himself. I start to pound on the door and try to break it open. "Brendon! Brendon! Open the goddamn door! Brendon baby please! I'm so sorry I hurt you! BRENDON!" I scream and cry.

When the police show up and break down the door I nearly pass out from what I see. Brendon is passed out with his head under water in a blood filled bathtub. I try to run in but Zack holds me back.

I did this to him. Somehow he found out about me and Spencer and he did this. I hurt the love of my life so bad he thought killing himself was the only way out. I'll never be able to forgive myself if Brendon wakes up from this.