What Love?

Pained Love

*Ava's POV*

I didn't even pack my belongings up or check out of the hotel before leaving.

I just ran.

I didn't even know why.

Why would I go back to Jason if was the reason I left to begin with?

Immediately, I regretted the distance between the house and the hotel.

What if he was already dead?

I couldn't bear the thought of being the cause of Jason's death.

My legs went as fast as they could, but it seemed like I was getting nowhere.

This isn't happening.

It was too much, I couldn't think straight with all this pressure on me.

Pausing on the sidewalk, I inhaled deeply. My thoughts began to collect themselves.

Not sparing another moment, I began running again.

Thirty minutes later, I arrived at the house.

It seemed as if I could never escape from this place.

*Jason's POV*

"She won't come." I thought.

Why would she?

I had treated her badly and never took care of her, and that was why I lost her.

I stared at the blade in my hand, clenching and releasing its handle simultaneously.

I've given her enough time, she just doesn't care about me anymore.

Suddenly the front door banged open, and scattered footsteps sounded.

"Jason?" Someone called my name.

I knew that voice.

I left the bathroom and walked to the top of the staircase, knife still in hand.

"Jason, is that you?" The voice asked again.

It was Ava.

I was relieved that she had come. She still cared about me enough to want me alive.

"What happened? Why is the place a mess?" She asked, surveying everything.

"You...you actually came..." I breathed, not answering her questions.

"Of course I did-" She said, starting to climb the stairs.

"No." I protested.

"Don't come any closer. I-I don't want to hurt you."

"That's ridiculous Jason, you wouldn't hurt me." She denied, but her tone was unsure.

She persisted to continue up the stairs.

"Don't come any closer!" I yelled.

She stopped.

"You can't kill yourself Jason." She said, her voice strong and steady.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you care about me? Because I have more to live for?"

Ava paused and stared at me.

"I have nothing to live for Ava!" I shouted.

"I lost you, and you're the most important thing in my life. But I mistreated you. I never showed you that I loved you. I never deserved you."

"Please don't do this Jason, you know that I..." Her voice trailed off.

"You can't even say it." I laughed coldly.

"Because you know it's not true. You don't care about me, and neither does anyone else."

"You know that's not true." She argued.

"I care."

"Oh do you now?" I spat.

"You and I both know that as soon I stop threatening to kill myself, you'll leave."

She had no answer.

"I knew it." I murmured.

"There was never any love in this relationship."

As soon as I said that, Ava looked hurt.

Seeing her like that upset me, but I was too angry to think about my words.

"Ava you mean the world to me." I said.

"But because of me, you suffered. I hurt you, and I never tried to truly fix my mistakes. I broke you...that's not something I will ever forgive myself for. Causing your pain."

Ava climbed two more stairs.

"Stay away from me." I commanded her.

"I'm a monster."

"No Jason, you're not." She whispered, stopping five stairs away from me.

"You're hurt, upset, and tortured. I don't think you've ever realized this, but you're more broken than I ever was."

I was about to disagree until I realized that she was right.

The things I did to myself were almost as awful as what I did to her.

"All the more reason why I should terminate my existence." I muttered.

"No, we can fix this together." She promised, coming even closer to me.

She reached out to me, and for a moment, I wanted her help. But that moment quickly faded and dissolved because of anger and despair.

No one could ever fix me.

"I said stay away!" I yelled, and before realizing what I was doing, I pushed her back.

She screamed and fell.

I reached out to grab her, but missed her hand.

There was nothing I could do but watch in terror as she landed at the foot of the staircase, either unconscious or dead.

I shook my head, backing away from the staircase.

"No..." I murmured.

I'm a murderer.

I did the first thing my mind thought of. Hiding.

I'm a monster.

I hid in my closet, feet tucked close to my chest.

Tears poured from my eyes.

I'm nothing but a coward and a monster. I'm worthless.

And now I've killed Ava.