What Love?

Shattered Love

*Ava's POV*

My head throbbed as I woke up dazed and confused on the ground at the bottom of the stairs.

What happened?

It was hard to remember exactly what took place.

All I could memorize was me trying to talk Jason out of suicide...

I approached him on the stairs...

He pushed me down the stairs.

I tried to save Jason, and in return, he shoves me down a flight of stairs.

"Maybe he was just afraid and reacted out of fear." A part of me tried to convince myself.

But that part of me was quickly overtaken by my suppressed resentment against Jason.

I wanted to find him so he could explain his violent actions, but he was nowhere to be found.

Of course.

There was no longer any doubt in my mind that Jason had pushed me down those stairs on purpose.

If it was an accident or a sudden outburst- which it clearly wasn't - Jason would've stayed by my side.

I can't believe he called me here to kill me.

As I left the house, I was determined to make it my last time stepping foot on that property.

I would never go back to Jason again.

*Jason's POV*

I heard the front door slam shut, and my heart sank, because I knew what had happened.

Ava left the house.

I knew I couldn't blame anyone else but myself for her leaving again, but I couldn't help being angry.

It was my fault for knocking her down the staircase, but I was unstable.

I warned her not to climb those stairs or come near me.

But she didn't listen.

I cursed the part of myself that blamed Ava for this.

I'm such a coward.

If I had simply stayed by her side instead of running away, she wouldn't have left from me again.

Tears rushed down my face for the hundredth time tonight.

Threatening to hurt myself wouldn't get her back either.

I pounded my fist into the ground and let out a deep shout.

What was wrong with me?

The moment I managed to do something right and get Ava back, I screw up and chase her away again.

It was like a never ending cycle.

I would hurt Ava emotionally or physically, apologize, then break her again.

The order of events would just continue in a loop, until Ava got tired of it and left.

I got her back and tried to fix things, but mess up again, forcing Ava to leave.

Meaning that this cycle, was at its end.
-
With the help of my friend Ryan, I tracked down Ava's location.

A stalkerish move, I know.

But it's nothing I haven't done before.

I'm determined to make things right again, no matter what I have to do.

I've loved Ava from the moment I met her, and to lose her like this shatters the heart that she stole from me.

I fixed the collars of my tuxedo and straightened my white bowtie.

It was time to make things right.
-
The flowers I held in my hand were shaking just as much as I was.

This moment was everything I had prepared for in the last few hours.

Timidly raising a fist to the door, I took a deep breath before I knocked.

*Ava's POV*

A faint knock sounded at my hotel door.

"Who is it?" I asked, standing right by the door.

"Ava? It's Jason."

My heart pounded, my hands began to quake.

I couldn't deal with him right now.

"Go away Jason. I don't ever want to speak to you again." I spoke sternly.

"Please Ava, give me another chance. I'm sorry."

Those words broke me.

"I'm sorry."

"Another chance?" I shouted.

"I've given you plenty of chances, you have no given right to ask for any more!"

"I know I screwed up, but please-" He cried.

"No." I cut him off.

"Do you know how many times you've apologized Jason?"

No reply.

"And how many times I've accepted the same apology?" I continued.

"Let's not forget the amount of times you've made the exact same goddamn mistake all over again."

"I'm sick of all the apologies Jason. When are you ever going to fix your mistakes and treat me like the loving girlfriend I've tried to be to you for three years?"

There was only silence from the other side of the door.

"I know Ava." Jason murmured.

"I know I've messed up. And I know that I keep messing up and trying to ignore that fact that I ever did. But I love you. Ever since I laid eyes on you, I've loved you."

He paused, waiting for an answer. But I gave him none.

"Yeah, I promised you a loving relationship when we first got together. But I never gave you that." He said.

"I love you more than anyone, and I have every right to treat you that way."

I could hear him starting to cry from his side of the door.

I leaned on the door and sighed.

I know exactly what's going to happen if I give in to his apology.

The same thing that's been happening for the past two years will just continue all over again.

Jason won't change, no matter what he says.

He could make the same error then apologize one million times over and still not see his downfall.

Because he never learns.

So why not give in to him again?

And just pretend to be okay with the terrible things he does.

Its what I've been doing since Jason started beating me.

Not this time.

"...And I'm trying to change, but I can't do it alone." Jason's voice rasped.

He had been talking that whole time.

I opened the door to find him sitting with his back toward it.

He stood up and faced me, roses in hand.

"I don't want to lose you ever again." He sobbed.

I tried to explain that accepting his apology wasn't why I opened the door, but he was already embracing me.

"You're my everything." He whispered, and kissed me.

I gave up trying to explain myself and let Jason think he had successfully won me back.

Even though he was happy and kissing me out of love, I could see nothing but trouble ahead.