Sincerely, Mike

FEBRUARY 03 2012

FEBRUARY 03 2012

Dear Billie,

I hope this package finds you well.

I don't know if you've read or even gotten my previous letter, so I'll say it again.

I am so very sorry for letting this all happen. I can't help but feel that this is somehow all my fault.

I never should have let you reach the low point that you did.

I never should have played off the severity of your addictions.

I never should have let any of this go on as long as it did.

The guilt eats away at me every moment of every day.

I am so incredibly sorry.

Now more than ever, I need to ask something of you, Billie.

I know you can't promise a tomorrow. I know you can't promise that we'll even see each other again.

But I need you to please promise me one thing.

Promise me you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.

I won't be able to forgive myself until I know that everything is right between the two of us.

I miss you, Billie. We all do.

Everything is so lifeless without you. My life seems so dark now given the absence of a certain beacon of nothing but absolute and pure happiness.

I know I never said it anywhere near as often as I should have, but I more than genuinely mean it when I say I love and appreciate you more than you will ever understand. All of this has really allowed me to put everything in my life into perspective, and I realized that I may have taken you and everything we have in and out of the band for granted.

You're my best friend, Billie. You more than mean the world to me. The fact that you and I may very well never see each other again is terrifying.

So please, for the love of everything good in the world, remember and hold onto the fact that I love and care for you more than I could ever express in any empty words. I'll always be right by your side, cheering you on.

Stay strong, Billie Joe.

Sincerely,
Mike

P.S.: Enclosed in the box is the little dog you bought for me when I got food poisoning in West Palm Beach on the last tour. I remembered you saying that cuddling something when you felt sick always made you feel better, so I thought maybe this little pup would bring you the same happiness and comfort he brought me when I was sick. You more than deserve it.

P.P.S.: Spazzy really misses you. According to Tré, all he does is ask for you. Every day he cries for hours on end until he just collapses in exhaustion. I don't know if there's anything we can do, but if it's possible, we need to schedule some kind of visit for him ASAP.

-
hey y'all. as of right now, I'm not entirely sure if I'll be able to update for the next two sundays, as I will be vacationing in Austria for roughly two weeks. I'll try to get something up but I can't make any promises as I don't imagine I'll have much free time. anyway, as always, enjoy the story, and feel free to drop me a comment or two telling me what you think of it so far.
-Jay